Online dating has become so popular in recent years it has opened up a whole new world of dating issues.
It really is just another way for people to meet but online dating is also another way for people to cheat because insincere people see the opportunity to meet people easily online and take advantage of them.
Often this involves sending money and so it is so much easier to scam innocent people and naturally some people are more easily fooled than others. Scammers know this and play on those weaknesses and especially on the emotions of those who are looking for love, desperate to find a love and want someone to share life with.
Online dating and Thai Girls
Apart from advising many people in relationships with Thai women I also have experience about the online dating industry, not least of which is my own experience of meeting my husband online although we met on a normal social network site rather than a dating site.
If you have read any of my other posts on my other site http://www.eastwestromanceonline.com you will know that I really do recommend that you meet in person as soon as possible after meeting online and deciding that you have what you think might be real feelings for each other.
One of the issues that does come up a lot in my role as Thai Girlfirend Advisor is the issue of supporting your Thai Girlfriend financially and my advice is always that one meeting for a few days is not enough to make the decision to begin to support her. If you don’t know her family, if you don’t know where she lives, where she works and was she married or maybe she is still a married woman then you need to take more time to find out if she is genuine or not.
To try and give it some sort of perspective imagine If you meet a woman in your own country for a date one time or even twice would you ask her to move in with you and support her financially?
In the words of Phil Collins “Don’t hurry love”
I often get emails from Western men who want to check with me about their Thai Girlfriend who they are supporting financially and who are constantly needing more financial support. What they always want to know of course is ” Is she after my money ?, Does she really love me or just my money, Can I trust her? “ etc etc.
I am a very positive woman who always looks for the best in people and especially my own country but to be honest if a Thai girl is always telling you about her money problems and looking for financial support from you then this is probably not real love and she may well be looking for an easy ticket.
The reason I say this is because I believe the more genuine way is that people will try to sort their own problems out…they will be more up front more direct and honest. Yes they may tell you about their problems because they don’t want to hide anything but they won’t expect or create the expectation for you to be constantly having to solve their financial problems….and also their families financial problems which is something you hear a lot of with Thai girls who are not so genuine.
Think about this.
When we first meet…we want to show our good side. We don’t want to always bring burden to the other person if we really have strong feelings of love for them. So why would someone constantly go on and on about all their financial problems so soon after meeting if they wanted a genuine relationship?
Because we always fear to begin with in a relationship, we fear we might lose that person if we always go on about our problems, debts family etc and expect to get help in that way…it’s called baggage….and Jerry Springer ( American Program) has a whole program dedicated to it!
But my Thai girlfriend didn’t actually ask for money
Yes I hear many men say ‘oh she didn’t actually ask me for money‘…….but remember there are ways to create guilt feelings and create obligation rather than ask directly…this is a psychological game. But if a person is constantly coming up with problems…like I don’t have my own computer to chat with you, someone in family is sick, I have a debt to pay, education fees…. or I can’t pay for visa application to come to your country…or passport..or I don’t have the right clothes etc. Then you must be honest and look at it clearly does she really love you or just want a meal ticket.
A question to ask yourself if you find you are in this situation is what will happen If you do not provide money to her…..what will she do? Will she stay with you or will she go?
And does your own fear then kick in and begin to make excuses for her? Because you know she may not come or she may go with other if you do not pay and so you panic because you let your passion take over. Maybe this is not so much wrong but where will it get you in the end?
If you met a woman in a western country who acted in this way what would you think?
Back to Online Dating
Getting back to the Online dating game and just to balance the scales a little there is a flip side
I have known some Thai women who have been taken advantage of by Farang men asking for money. Nigerian scammers..posing as white Farang from England or America are also a big problem online and many women are seduced into believing everything they say, the sweet words and promises of love and a beautiful life…if only they can help them with a business problem they have then a beautiful life is promised for both! Many of these men use other people’s photos and profiles to make you fall in love with them as well.
As always it is important that you do not become so blinded with love or lust that you fail to see the reality in situations. I know it is hard sometimes and I myself am a big supporter of love, forgiveness and loving kindness but sadly some will take advantage of this in others.
Read my article about dating Thai Bar girls