Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

What you should know about having a Thai wife

So you have had a beautiful Thai girlfriend for a while and she is everything you could ever hope for in a woman because she is sweet, loving, beautiful, she cares for you and looks after you in a way you could only have dreamed of before.

And now you feel you have made the decision to make her your Thai wife and ask her to marry you.

You are fairly confident she will say yes because you are both so happy with each other and feel so much in love, it’s a beautiful thing and you can both only see a wonderful future together when she becomes your Thai wife and you live together.

Well, yes this is all very possible but there are a few things you should be ready for that will help make the wonderful life you hope for a reality and not full of misunderstandings and disappointment.

  1. Thai wife = the “Yes” wife! There is a lot of comments made by Western men about their Thai wives that they never say exactly what they want, that they just say “Yes” or “Ok” all the time. Thai people call this Greng Jai which basically means not wanting to upset and it can be extremely confusing and frustrating for western men because it can seem like they are hiding or do not want to be open. Nothing could be further from the truth, the reality is that it is part of Thai culture.
  2. Expect your kitchen to radically change!!! Food and cooking is deeply ingrained in Thai culture and your Thai wife is unlikely to be an exception. Don’t expect her to change her diet to a western diet just because she lies in the West. She will seek out all the foods she wants to eat and will soon have your kitchen converted from a nice tidy and minimalist Western man’s kitchen to a bustling, vibrant Asian kitchen with bottles of sauce and herbs you have never even heard of!! She will eat rice, fish and noodles for breakfast and almost everything will be spicy hot. This is her way and the best thing you can do is just accept and enjoy the experience of some of the most amazing culinary delights on the planet. ……Oh and you will need to get a rice cooker!!!
  3. Buddhism, Monks and Temples: Many Thai people follow Buddhism and believe in Karma and so your new Thai wife is very likely to do so also. This means she will want to find a Thai temple local to you and visit their once in a while. She will want to talk to the Buddhist monk ( who incidently… may well be English ..) and may well ask you to attend also. thai temple Nollamara WAYou will often find her paying respects to Buddha and saying prayers for all sorts of reasons at all times of the day and night. Again this is part of her way and culture. Buddhism is in fact a very relaxed religion, more of a philosophy really and may even find yourself being interested in it too.
  4. Marry her…Marry her Family too!!! Thai families are very close and like to stay in touch constantly. They also are very loyal to their families and believe in sharing, giving and taking care of each other, especially children taking care of older parents.. This leads many western men to feel as though they have married her family as well as her and can cause many problems if not understood correctly. This is also part of Buddhist belief too and so you will find it unlikely to disappear. Try to accept that this is born out of goodness and giving and a strong sense of family and community and that you are also welcome to be part of that. Try not to stand aside but just share and enjoy your new family and they will show you much respect and gratitude back.

This is just an overview of some of the main things that can cause problems but when accepted and understood correctly can in fact bring you closer together as well as enriching your life with a culture that is mainly about giving.

I hope you find this information useful in your beautiful relationship with your Thai wife.

Hope and Solutions

Thai Girlfriend Advisor

by Angella


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7 Comments

  1. I always inspired by you, your thoughts and way of thinking, again, thanks for this nice post.

    - Murk

  2. Graham

    Hi Angela,
    I follow “Thai Girlfriend Advisor” and find the articles you write, extremely helpful. Thank you. But now a question about point 1 in this article: I understand about “greng jai”, but what i dont understand is how to tell the difference between truth and “greng jai”. When can i rely on her answer as being what she really wants and when can i dismiss her answer as “greng jai”? Often i have made important decisions and future plans on her answer only to find out later that it is never going to happen – was only “greng jai”. I have been disappointed many times with this. I need to know how to tell the difference. Please help!

    • Sawasdee ka Kuhn Graham
      Very please you find my articles helpful and thankyou for your question. In fact it is a very good question and not easy to explain to Farang and so I have written a new post about this subject which I hope will help you here is the link http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/greng-jai-and-thai-women/
      Also look for the link at the bottom to my coffee conversation with Dean about Greng Jai as it also gives you a good western perspective…..hope this helps and thankyou for reading Thai Girlfriend Advisor….Angella

  3. Jim Cathey

    great information. I lived on Kauai for 6 years and my first hint at difference was eating Poke (raw fish) for breakfast. Pacific island culture and South East Asia culture is so different. Although Kauai is a Hawaiian island it is the most isolated and still holds on to some strong Pacific Island values. Poke is delicious by the way. Chunks of raw fish with salt, spices, seaweed and shoyu served with rice. Sticky rice is the best.

    I shop in chinatown in Honolulu and there are Vietnamese, Thai and other stores where merchants have only been here a few years and they still travel back and forth to south East Asia, including BKK and other districts in Thailand.

    I always enjoy your blog.

    Thanks

  4. Jim Cathey

    You talk about Greng jai. so true. It is not called that here in the Hawaiian islands but it really does happen and I finally understand it. the Hawaiians do it, the Samoans do it, the marshallese do it, the Tongans do it, the Japanese do it. Every culture here has thier own form of Greng Mai even though it is not called that. Just as you say it is a part of the culture.

  5. Jimmy

    Good information. So much to learn and so many different things to to understand. I like what you said about the kitchen change over. Very funny and colorful description of the reality of cross cultural relationships.

    Thanks

  6. It’s an amazing post for all the internet users; they will get benefit from
    it I am sure.

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