Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Understanding jealousy

Jealousy and Thai women in some more depth.

Before I do let’s understand and be clear that jealousy is an emotion that affects everyone not just Thai women. As the Thai Girlfriend Advisor though it is my job to talk about it from a Thai perspective and I do admit that Thai women are prone to jealousy for some cultural reasons which I have raised in another post and will refer to in this post.

See my other post: Understanding Thai women – My Thai girlfriend is so jealous

Although jealousy is often given a negative label it is a natural and necessary emotion, otherwise we humans would not come equipped with it. It is only when it becomes obsessive, unreasonable and paranoid that it ceases to serve us in any good way and becomes destructive.

Consider for a moment relationships without any jealousy…do you really think we could love each other that way?

When we love someone we don’t want to share them with anyone because we want to be the sole object of their affections. We want to be the special one that their universe revolves around. So sometimes jealousy comes from a  positive emotion and that is love. But everything has two sides as many universal laws confirm and so there is negative and positive to jealousy.

The positive side to jealousy is that it means someone loves us and that we love someone. If you are the object of reasonable jealousy because perhaps you seem to be paying someone else the attention your lover seeks then this can be seen as a positive jealousy.

If your lover responds with:

“yes darling I do feel a bit jealous at how you were laughing and joking so much with that woman and she is very attractive and I know you love me but I can’t help wanting you to myself. I know you are free to talk to anyone you wish and I do trust you..but I love you but it’s ok I am not angry”

Is there anything wrong with this?

As I said to begin with jealousy is not exclusive to Thai women but does appear often in relationships with Thai women whether with Farang or Thai and this is because our social conditioning plays a role in many of our belief systems which in turn create our emotions and so when we look at Thai women we do see that cultural and social conditions have shaped them just like they do in other cultures.

In addition to the historical cultural behavior of Thai men and their “Mia Noi’s” which I talk about in my other post another influence that shape Thai women’s belief systems about jealousy are that there are proportionately more women to men in Thailand an ever increasing number of which are gay.

There are proportionately more women to men in Thailand an ever increasing number of which are gay. Other men enter religious practices and become monks and some join the army.

I have no doubt some of you might think this seems like a ridiculous reason but for women in Thailand it is actually very real dilemma sometimes. Finding an eligible man is not always easy and so when they find one they have a very real fear that another women, whether a Mia Noi or not will take his interest.

I know that many Western men have the view that this jealousy is caused by issues regarding money and I will discuss that in another post.

For now I hope that the perspectives I present can help in understanding the issues concerning Thai women and jealousy. Remember this information should be used to improve your understanding in a relationship with a Thai woman and not to be used as an excuse against her.

With Love, Hope and Solutions


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2 Comments

  1. Hello Angela,

    This is an important issue to understand thoroughly. When I married my Thai Lady, she happened to be my third concurrent wife, and though I was married to two other ladies at the time, it was she who asked me (via internet). She had other options, but none of those men appealed to her and she chose me because i was honest and seemed to her that I would also love her kids (who were grown at the time.

    Since then, I have divorced the other two ladies–one of whom was Thai and is still on good terms with us. Turns out the divorced thai lady was not a “good thai lady” though she appeared to be at the beginning. My other wife was Indonesian and Muslim. Here’s where the jealousy factor came in, because i surely preferred my thai wife as she was a superior woman on all accounts (we all lived together).

    My thai wife was patient and never acted out in any way negative towards my Indon wife: she cooked, cleaned, washed and even took care of my Indon wife’s baby. The latter lady couldn’t begin to compete in any way with her, but instead of learning from her, she regressed into a jealous adolescent rage, although her life had improved in every way.

    Though i didn’t want to divorce her, we couldn’t live with the disharmony and so I made a choice for the better woman, even though it meant losing my daughter.

    At present, I am experiencing for the first time in my life a loving marital bond that I didn’t think possible before. And yes: my wife is a good Thai lady from the north, a retired school teacher and widow for 13 years aged 51. You can see her and some of her story here: http://zaid-pub.iii4s.org/?page_id=473

    Yours,

    dr o

    • Hello Omar and thankyou for such interesting comments and sharing this information on my site. I do believe this is valuable for people to share honest experience like this as we can all learn so much from each other, this exactly why I start this site. Happy for you now you have happiness and strong loving relationship…welcome to keep sharing your wonderful insight with us..Khob kuhn ka, angella

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