Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Thai Culture and Greng Jai

Greng Jai is a practice that Thai people use in every day life. It can be very confusing for Western people..here is a brief explanation:

“Greng Jai” will leave many Westerners (Farang) a bit confused and not knowing what is right to do or not. This cultural habit is born out of Thai’s preference for politeness and dislike for direct confrontation. This could be partly because of Thai Buddhist culture as we are taught that confrontation is wrong.

When faced with a choice Thai  wives ( NOTE Greng Jai is not exclusive to women, it applies to thai men as well…it really is part of Thai character) will not always say directly what they want or what they mean. Very often it is because they do not wish to upset their partner by denying them their wish or by choosing something they may not be happy with. They may also prefer not to talk about something that can cause conflict and confrontation and so will find a way to avoid it if possible.

This does not mean they are dishonest or will lie and should not be confused with that. Of course there will always be those who will take it to the extreme or use it to their own advantage.

It can be very frustrating because unlike westerners both men and women who are much more direct in these matters, they would rather take the middle road approach and not upset and so for Western men in a relationship with a Thai woman it can seem as though she avoids difficult situations and conversations, her true feelings or thoughts may come out later on in bits and pieces and this can seem like she was holding back..which of course she was but not for the reasons westerners think.

This is where Thai culture and Western culture differ greatly and it is one thing that has proved to be difficult to get along with in relationships between westerners and Thai with many westerners taking the view that Thai people use it as an excuse. What you might find funny is that “Greng Jai” can often be as frustrating for Thai people as for Westerners! So  we do understand the frustration it can cause.

Here is an example for you:

Husband says:
Darling would you like to go out  for dinner tonight, maybe for Italian, chinese or Indian food.
Thai wife says:
Yes ok.
Husband say:
Which one would you prefer
Thai wife:
Hmmm…It’s Up to you
Husband thinks:
Why not just choose one


At the restaraunt…Chinese, which the husband chose !!

Thai wife is eating her meal with the feeling of being unhapy, as though she has been commanded to eat.
Husband says:
Is everything ok darling?
Thai Wife says:
Yes.
Back home later…

Husband says:
Darling you don’t seem happy are sure everything is ok?
Thai wife says:
I wanted to eat something spicy and I’m still hungry.
Husband says:
Why didn’t you say something then?

That’s Greng  Jai..!!!!


Let’s go! and enjoy a  Thai music video about” Greng Jai”…


Thai Girlfriend Advisor

by Angella

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3 Comments

  1. Hi Angella.
    I liked the email about , greng jai, but the best one was the email you sent about how to impress your Thai girlfriend and speak a few Thai words to her It works fantastic I listerned to some video’s on the links and found some words put them together, so when we spoke on skype and the reaction was great the smile was fantastic so now I have even started to send sms messages of love to my girlfriend and she loves it thanks Angella for taking our relationship to another level.
    John

    • Sawasdee ka John and wow! So happy to hear that and it work for you like that….and well done for taking the time to learn some Thai language, that show effort and care to your girlfriend….my best wishes to you both for continue success, love and happiness..Chok Dee, Angella

  2. dulla

    I love you man u saved my life heheheheeh.i finaly got it :-)

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