Many western men comment on how jealous their Thai girlfriends and Thai wives can be.
So let me share with you some insight’s on what seems like jealousy or paranoia on the part of Thai women is embedded deep in Thai culture.
Firstly I don’t want you to think that this is just an attack on Thai men because really they are only just a victim to years of Thai culture as well so we must be careful not to lay blame in only one place . To Thai men I ask you to consider if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel..really try to put yourself in the same position as what I am about to tell you.
The simple fact is that Thai culture and Thai society has allowed the behavior of Thai men to have more than one wife.
Even though today it is frowned upon and the cause of such a high percentage of relationship and marital problems between Thai men and Thai women it still happens but it is not just as straight forward as a man being allowed to have two wives, it is a little more complicated than that.
One of the issues in Thailand is that it is not really neccessary to get a registered marriage, very often the traditional Thai wedding ceremony performed in front of your family and social circle is enough to say you are married. Basically in the eyes of everyone you are married.
For a marriage to be legal in Thailand it must be registered at a District office and a marriage certificate issued. Many Thai men do not like to sign these papers for one reason or another, many feel it is a waste of time and cannot be bothered. Also the parents of both parties are not able to insist upon it and so it goes unregistered.
This very often is the case in a first marriage when the couple are very young with love stars in their eyes. They will only have a traditional Thai wedding ceremony and not bother with registration at a district office. Over the years the wife will do many things to support her husband and family helping him with business and all sorts of things and then one day the man will take a mistress/girlfriend and this is where the problems begin.
They may well have been married for 10 years or even more but there is no legal document to say so. But when the new Thai girlfriend gets her claws into the man very often he will feel pressured to marry her and get it registered and she then has all the rights in the eyes of the law leaving the primary Thai wife with little rights to anything. I have seen many court cases and heard many stories of this over the years.
Of course this sort of thing only really happens in the larger Cities in Thailand where there is property and assets at stake.
- This is just one issue, because here is another problem.
In the more affluent Thai society it is all too common for many Thai men to take a girlfriend even though they are married. If they can afford it they will keep this going for years happily supporting both. One of the things in Thailand is the wearing of rings is not so readily practiced like the West and so it is often difficult to tell if someone is married or not.
‘Quite often when you see an older Thai man with a younger Thai woman it is very likely his Thai girlfriend and not his Thai wife’
In contrast though, there is a true story of a man ( Tekgor) who lives on the outskirts of Bangkok who has 7 wives and 22 children they all live together quite happily. He was interviewed on Television one time and was asked how he could keep such harmony in his household with 7 wives and 22 children.
So this leads me to the point of why Thai women can often seem paranoid or over jealous
When you put yourself in this situation as I mentioned it is easy to understand why. I do not blame men because it is Thai culture and Thai marriage law that allows this to occur and until something is done about it then it will continue.
Although this might seem like a negative perspective it is a fact of Thai culture and if you are a western man then I feel it will help give you a little more understanding of your Thai girlfriend or Thai wife if sometimes she has difficulty in believing you are monogamous. Monogamy is in fact one of the reasons Thai women have become interested in Western men as it is portrayed that Western men place much more value on being a ‘one woman man”.
I hope this help you understand more about Thai women.
With love hope and solutions
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