Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

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Angella and Dean talk about Greng Jai

The subject of Greng Jai is very interesting when it comes to Thai and Farang relationships. I never used to think about it too much before but now I do see how it can cause a problem. I have written about it on this site but this conversation with Dean you might find interesting because he gives a westerner perspective on greng jai.

Angella: So how do you really see greng jai?

 

 

Dean: Well I don’t have too much problem with it because I try to see it for what it is and not what our western culture thinks it should be or whether it is right or wrong and anyway in our own way we greng jai too.

 

Angella: Really?

 

Dean: Western people also Greng jai in fact we actually lie sometimes…greng lie..lol…but serious we do, take this for instance…if we get invited to a party and we don’t want to go we will very often make an excuse not to go..like someone is sick, or we cant get babysitters or we have to work late. In fact we don’t want to go but in the interest of being polite we will make an excuse…but actually this is lying or is it greng jai?

Angella: What about when people get together for dinner and you have take-away because as a Thai I would wait to find out what people want first and then go with that, even if I want something different

 

Dean: Well for us and maybe this is an English/Aussie thing but we will be open about what we all want and then go with a majority decision. We might even make a joke of it all and pretend to be upset but we will do what everyone else wants…but this is joking but we will be open about it all.

I mean really greng jai is in the positive way like you said..a healthy respect for the feelings of other people and not wishing to upset them unnecessarily if you no need to. If you really look at this in the extreme then really in the west we always lie. We are not honest because we don’t go around saying exactly what we think about everything..that would be chaos..lol

Angella: Yes if we did that can you imagine…it would be war all the time

 

Dean: Hahaha…yes like hey what do you think of my new dress does it make me look fat…haha..and you answer, yes actually I don’t like it at all and it makes you look fat and ugly. I mean c’mon we just don’t do that..we would have no friends…lol and we call ourselves honest.

Angella: I have another example story of greng jai. Once when I was working Amway I went to a mans house family. They had very little money and lived in a very small room. I was sat down on the floor and his wife was cooking in a pot right there next to me…his children would sleep right there too. They all lived in this small place and I arrived in my big car and stuff to talk about Network Marketing. They offered me food..and it was just a little bowl. The spoon was sharp and would have to be careful not to cut your mouth. But I felt I could not say no. I greng jai because I felt that it would be rude and they would feel that I pity them too much or maybe feel their food is not good enough for me. So I did have some.

Dean: Wow. Exactly. Actually I can understand that and really it’s a sign of respecting that what they offer you is value to them to offer it to you. They feel honor to give and share this with you so to say no would not be a good thing in that case. That makes a lot of sense

Angella: So Thaïs we greng jai a lot, everyday and all the time but we not do it to lie or be untruthful like many Farang say we do.; I know it seems like an excuse but it is not. Yes of course you will always get some who take it too far and use it in the wrong way but that is because they are not genuine. Sincere and good people only greng jai for the right reason out of respect for others feelings and not to make conflict, we like peaceful and easy and not be difficult.

Dean: Yes I’m sure some Farang will take that and say it is all BS..in fact I have heard some say that and they will say its just a handy excuse for Thaïs to lie. Personally I can understand but I think it is a little shortsighted to think this way and also unfair. Just because they have got mixed up with some unscrupulous Thaïs they paint everyone with the same brush, but you will always get that. The truth is that Farang are not the most honest culture by any means. As I said there is plenty of BS in Western culture.

Angella: So in the West they will greng jai to be polite right?

 

Dean: Sure…and same reason, they will say they are good and honest people yet they will make excuses. And that’s what we call it…making excuses. But really it is lying…what’s the difference. Ok I know really but I just want to make the point so we can see things in perspective and for other westerners not to get too high and mighty about Thaïs and greng jai and how they believe Thaïs lie too much because we are no better , we just give it a different name..lol I’m sure I will get a few comments about this …haha.

Angella: And sure I do say that Western men should be careful of this because some Thai women will use greng jai as an excuse if they are not a sincere Thai. I know this is where we get a bad name from and same some Thai men can also use greng jai in this way but this because they are not sincere Thai.

Dean: Yeah well we just call them con men! or women…or BS artists!! And believe me there are plenty around too, especially in business!

 

Angella: So you think you know greng jai now?

 

Dean: Well not exactly but I know it is part of your culture and so I must accept that and not fight against it, I know that with sincere people it is meant in a good way and not a bad way to conceal or deceive so really it is my own responsibility to be a good judge of character in the first place and sniff out insincere people, just like it is in the West.

 

 


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Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective – ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa Column


This article on my weekly column at ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa talks about “Trust and Honesty from a Thai perspective” and uses a simple story about Mr Chokdee to illustrate how Thai culture can be very complex.

The article raises many questions and is not meant to answer them all, I just want to show Western people a condition that happens in our society as it is one of the cause of many issues with Thai people but this is our culture and what we are used to it., maybe it seem strange for western and we may not support or agree with it but we do have to live with it.

There are many interesting reactions to this post in the comments section and I think this helps us see the different perspectives from different cultures.

Enjoy the post here:

Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective

Sawasdee and Kop kuhn ka


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Wayne Rooney, Rooney wife, the England Jolly boys and the “Land of smiles”

So what is all this fuss about Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney’s wife and Thailand?

Well first off I must say I am already planning to be in Thailand next year in June..lol. I have my ticket all lined up..why!! well because I am English of course ( even though I have lived in Australia for 20 years and am in fact an australian Citizien I was born in england and lived there until 24yrs old) and so if the reports coming out of the UK are true and the England soccer team (or Football team is what i should say because only aussies and americans call it soccer..in England it is quite clearly Football!!) are flagged to come to Bangkok and play the Thailand National football team then I for one will be here to see it.
wayne rooney wayne rooney
But amidst all that there seems to be a bigger story about the exploits of a certain Mr Wayne Rooney, who happens to be one of my favorite players actually and plays for the team I follow being Manchester United, and the fact that he will not be able to restrain himself from the charms and desires of a temporary Thai Girlfriend. Yes apparently, according to Rooney’s wife Colleen, Bangkok is the sex capital of the world and it will be like jumping into the frying pan for young Wayne.

Why all the fuss you ask?

Because young Wayne Rooney has recently been exposed as paying for sex with girls in England and so with Bangkok being (apparently) the world centre for pay for sex how will he be able to control himself.
lol, well if all this can be believed and let’s face it how much of the English tabloid press can you really believe, then it does seem there there could be a little misconception about Thailand going on. First of course you have to understand that the English love a scandal, and most of those reading and believing this sort of story won’t have a clue what Thailand is really like! But it is ashame that a country as beautfil as the former Siam can be tagged so easily with one label, which in fact is not true and also when the same can be said of London, Paris, New york and many other major capitals of the world who all have a seedy underbelly to their exisitence.
The UK press love scandal and so do it’s readers, who are very often easily seduced by the negative side of fame and fortune commonly known as “Gossip”.

The real story is though that apparently the England Football squad will arrive in June of next year to play Thailand as part of England’s bid to host the world Cup in….. It also co-incides with the Thai King’s birthday and so the English FA ( Englands football/soccer governing body) has penciled in a trip to the former Siam.

Now you have remember here there are two ways to look at this…There is the tabloid view and the professional football view.

The Football view is that these players, many of whom are among the best in the world and play for some of the top teams in europe are in fact professional footballers and will be representing their country. They will have instructions to behave appropriately and be a good example. Drinking will certainly not be allowed and the prospect of being caught engaging in less than appropriate behavior can result in a loss of place on the England squad, which as every top level footballer will tell you is their ultimate dream goal and not something they would want to throw away.
Then there is the tabloid view of things and that is that these players all in their early and mid twenties, some of whom like the likes of Wayne Rooney are always out for a good time and will run a mock in Bangkok like being on some “Jolly boys ” outing. Indeed it is true that a few of the other players have been involved in some so called scandalous behavior in England..of course always involving women!! So is there any hope that they won’t be able to control their urges and be on a mission to seek out as many Thai bar girls as possible whilst in Bangkok?
Well it is not hard to see which one will sell newspapaers and magazines and be great TV news is it? How hard would it be to get a picture of Wayne rooney or John Terry chatting innocently to some Thai woman and then being able to concoct a whole sordid story around it? Just watch what happens when the England squad arrives and spot the 100′s of photographers (paparazzi!!) buzzing around then like flies, and you can bet there will some of those flies who will be hiding in bushes, flower pots and tuk tks trying to get a juicy shot of one of the players engaged in something naughty!!..ho hum..such is the English way!!
The sad part of this is that Thailand and Bangkok will be the injured innocent party with their beautiful culture and country tarnished by misconceptions and manipulations fuelled by tabloid greed and English ignorance”

So there you have it…the perspective of an Englishman who spends much time in Thailand.
See you in June then!!
Dean
Intercultural and Social Commenter

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Thai National Anthem เพลงชาติไทย

Thai National Anthem

เพลงชาติไทย “Phleng Chat Thai”





เนื้อเพลงชาติไทย


ประเทศไทยรวมเลือดเนื้อชาติเชื้อไทย

เป็นประชารัฐ ไผทของไทยทุกส่วน

อยู่ดำรงค งไว้ได้ทั้งมวล

ด้วยไทยล้วนหมาย รักสามัคคี

ไทยนี้รักสงบ แต่ถึงรบไม่ขลาด

เอกราชจะไม่ให้ใครข่มขี่

สละเลือดทุกหยาดเป็นชาติพลี

เถลิงประเทศชาติไทยทวี มีชัย ชโย.



The Meaning of Thai National Anthem

Thailand is the unity of Thai blood and body.
The whole country belongs to the Thai people, maintaining thus far for the Thai.
All Thais intend to unite together.
Thais love peace, but do not fear to fight.
They will never let anyone threaten their independence.
They will sacrifice every drop of their blood to contribute to the nation,
will serve their country whith pride and prestige–full of victory, Chai Yo.

>




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