The topic of this post might be “Farang man betrays Thai woman” but it has a happy ending.
Today I spent time at a Chinese Temple on the outskirts of Bangkok and being in this wonderful place of tranquil reflection made me think about a couple I know and have helped through some difficult times and so I will share the amazing story with you here because it not only turns the whole Thai women are only after western money thing on it’s head but I also feel it shows very well not just a very positive side of a Thai woman but also how two people in love can find happiness even when life can seem cruel and unfair.
I know there are so many stories about Thai women and how they are only after money from Western men and yes I know many of them are true. But I also know that this only represents a small amount of Thai women and does not mean all Thai women are like that. I also know that it could be just as easy to say the same about Farang men as this story will illustrate.
This is the story of a good Thai woman and a good Western man who despite many setbacks over the past 4 or 5 years have remained strong in their commitment to each other, but it was not always so good.
She is 40 and like myself she has some Chinese background coming from a Chinese family but being raised in Thailand in Bangkok. She is also a well educated woman who like many Thai women from the city of Bangkok holds a Bachelors degree. I point this out not because I think any less of women who are not educated but it is a sad fact that many of the Thai women you read about who are not so good are uneducated.
He is 47 and is from America and also well educated with a good profession in Engineering and so I believe they are well suited to each other in age and also socially. They have been happily married now for 4 years with no children and they both love to travel and share many interests in common.
But they have a sad and unfortunate situation.
They have a very unfortunate situation because although they have applied twice she is unable to be granted a Visa to live in America and so for 4 years now they have to live apart only seeing each other when he visits Thailand regular to see her and her family and even though he sometimes visits for a month at a time it is painful for them not to be able to live together.
But they both love each other very much and still want to be together and they are not prepared to give up. I remember last year how she cried when she rang me because her visa was denied again for the second time and she also told me that he was also not in good health and that the stress of not being able to bring her to live in America did not help his health either.
But they remain strong and amazingly they are happy to have found each other and now she feels stronger and will try again for the third time. You also need to remember that each application takes year too. So even though they have this unfortunate situation they never give up hope and they are happy together.
But before this happiness there was something even more sad which is at the cause of their problem today.
You see many years before she met her husband she had another Farang boyfriend. They had met in Thailand and she had been talking to him for many months and they had planned a life together in America and so he had arranged a Visa for her to visit him in Washington, America for some length of time. She was so happy and she felt very in love with him and he with her. He had promised her a wonderful life together and so she went to America with a beautiful dream in her heart.
But when she got to America something terrible happened.
She found out that he already had another woman who was a Farang woman and he had said nothing about her, pretending to be single all this time. He had hidden the fact that he was already in a committed relationship but had started a new one with many false promises.
She was devastated, confused and hurt and felt her dreams had been destroyed.
Can you imagine how she felt to be alone in America with only shattered dreams to keep her company? She had very little money because she had given up her job in Thailand as they would not allow her to keep it if she was away for so long and he had also promised to look after her, but now she had nothing.
As fortune would have it she had a Thai relative in LA and decided to contact her because she didn’t know anybody else in America. All she knew was she didn’t want to be in this relationship any longer and needed to leave him as soon as she could and so she set off for LA to stay with her relative until she could get back to Thailand.
“If you lost love, Don’t loose your faith”
So maybe you wonder what the problem was? She had a broken heart and broken dream but she could just leave this guy and try to get on with her life.
Well the thing is that the guy was not happy about her leaving him. Even though he had been dishonest and destroyed her trust and her dreams he decided to cancel her sponsorship Visa and told the American Immigration department he did not know where she was or why she had left. He said nothing about the real reasons why she had left.
Now this may not seem like a big problem until now when her applications for a visa to America to live with her genuine and loving husband keep being denied. Although it is impossible for the Immigration Department to say why it seems very likely the situation with her ex boyfriend has something to do with it.
So not only did he destroy her dreams and trust at the time his actions still have affect on her life now many years later. But incredibly she has not let this make her lose her faith in love.
She is a good woman who I know personally, she is educated and come from good family. She is not chasing money and she loves her husband very much and will stand by him even though she cannot be with him in America and even though he is not in good health. He also will stand by her even though it is not his fault they have a problem with the Visa. They both remain strong in their love and their belief.
Even though she could she didn’t turn around and say all Farang men are bad or even all men are bad and dishonest
This is the real message I want to share from this story…….that even though life can seem difficult or even cruel sometimes we must never give up belief. The woman in the story didn’t fear and she never lost her faith. She didn’t turn around and say all Farang men are bad or even all men are bad and dishonest. She didn’t lose her way like that. She continued to be open and eventually she has found some happiness even though it still seems difficult.
I love this story because it gives us many messages and I hope that reading it you can understand those message too.
With love, Hope and Solutions