Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Tag: thai girlfriend advice

Case Study – Online Thai Girlfriend cheats American guy

This case study shows how an online Thai Girlfriend can cheat a man and break his heart.

Although I am Thai I am very aware of how heartless some Thai women can be and how they can easily play cruel and unfair games with some men, especially when the relationship is online and they have never met in person.

Neil lives in the USA and he first came to me with an email saying that for many months he had been having an online relationship with a beautiful Thai girlfriend. They had both said they felt deep love for each other. He had already planned to leave the US and move to Thailand. He wasn’t a rich man but he was now making arrangements to move closer to where his Thai Girlfriend lived near Bangkok.

However he explained that she had recently said she might not have time for a relationship due to an accident her father had and before he even had time to console her the next day he saw she had changed her status on her facebook profile. Neil was confused because he felt they had a genuine relationship, he had seen inside her home on webcam and even her family too so this came as a sudden shock.

She had deleted him from her facebook

Neil then managed to speak to her on skype and she insisted she did not change it and there was no problem between them but then the next day she had deleted him from her facebook. On checking he noticed she was still on her friends facebook, just not his anymore and her status was still set to single. The whole thing seemed so strange and so he tried to translate many messages on her facebook page that she had posted in Thai. In case you don’t know Thai does not translate well into English and he could not really make any sense of it.

So confused and unsure he came for my advice as Thai Girlfriend Advisor

 

He asked me if I could access her facebook profile to read some comments on there. The problem was he really didn’t want to believe the worst and hoped to God it was just a mistake and a big misunderstanding on his part. With what he had already explained in a few emails I did fear the worst but said little to him about that at this point until I could check.

Sadly the news was not good for Neil

I then screened her facebook profile and sadly the news was not good for Neil. His Thai girlfriend or now ex: Thai girlfriend openly used very low class type language on her profile and joking with her friends revealed that she was getting fed up with the American and would prefer to taste European now.

At first I advised Neil that he should perhaps just wait about his plans for Thailand and try to sort it out, the news was not good for him. Obviously he wanted to know what she had said and so eventually I told him which made me sad because I knew it would hurt Neil. It is so very difficult to tell someone something like that and I really felt Neil was a genuine guy.

Maybe what I told him had saved him in the long run

Neil was quite for many days and did not respond to me again until about a week or so later he wrote to me saying he had broken things off and although it hurt that maybe what I told him had saved him in the long run. He felt he would not love again for some time though!

I can tell you that this is not easy work for me to do because I feel for people when they hurt like that but I hope that I have helped Neil avoid even greater pain and suffering later on had he continued with that relationship. It hurts me to see how some Thai women can be and sometimes I feel like giving up with it all….but I know sometimes helping people is not always comfortable.

In time Neil will heal his heart and hopefully find a genuine Thai woman to love.

So if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman or online relationship and if possible it is worth checking out your Thai girlfriend before you make any serious plans and commitments with her.

 

No one perfect and don’t think every Thai women are bad or willing to cheat you. But if you feel  confuse or you have an inkling that something not right with your relationship. Remember every problem have solutions and I am always here to consult you if you have any problems like this.


You can check my cost’s here: http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/costs/

 


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Understanding Thai women – misunderstandings

Language differences can cause misunderstanding with Thai women

Through experience I have come to realize how important misunderstandings in Intercultural relationships really are and in particular between Western men and Thai women. If you are a Western man with a Thai girlfriend or a Thai wife then this article is for you to give you some tips to help you understand Thai women.

But let me give you a word of caution although some of my tips sound simple they are not always easy to carry out…but they are effective and if you can find yourself trying them I feel sure it well help you greatly in your relationship with Thai women. I will talk about 1 tip here and then give others in more articles. In his famous book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venusauthor John Gray talks about how men and women really talk a different language. When a woman says one thing the man actually believes she means something different and vice verca. So imagine how more complicated this issue becomes when you throw in the mix of an intercultural relationship between Thai women and Western men. Wow…now that’s a recipe for some misunderstandings for sure!!

My First Tip to help understand Thai women

My first tip is to not react negatively too quickly to your Thai woman, Thai girlfriend or Thai wife when she is trying to explain something. Now I know this sounds simple but sometimes our emotions and ego’s can get in our way and not always make us have the patience we need. What I hope you can understand is that sometimes for Thai women we are not able to express ourselves well enough in English. This can be very frustrating and sometimes that frustration can simply overwhelm us. I know that sometimes I get so frustrated with myself at not being able to explain something to my husband, I just can’t seem to help him understand what I mean because I cannot find the right words or I use the wrong words. Sometimes this can make me go quiet and this can then frustrate him. This just boils down to a lack of vocabulary and so that is why I say if you can just be patient with us and not react too quickly when we fail to find the words quick enough to explain or express ourselves it will help greatly. Try to be patient and encourage us to to explain, just take a little time for us to get it right or find the right words. Very often I use my dictionary to find the words and we work it out that way. Sometimes I also know that I may use the wrong words and this can cause misunderstanding too. So if you think your Thai woman is saying something strange, hurtful or stupid remember it may be her lack of knowledge on what words to use and when. So as I said, this tip sounds simple but can be a challenge at times especially in a heated situation but patience, understanding and a positive approach will always get great results.

Look out for my next tip to help you in understanding Thai women.

Read this post for some facts to consider when thinking about marrying your Thai Girlfriend


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Thai Girlfriend to Thai wife – some info on marriage

If you are thinking about making your Thai girlfriend your Thai wife then here are some interesting facts for you to consider.

I have been writing a guest column called “Angella Talks” for my friends Steve and Golf at Thailand Musings and recently I began a post about divorce between Thai women and Farang men and so I thought I would add some information about that subject here as well because I feel it is an important and interesting topic.

You know I talk a lot about what is needed to make an intercultural relationship work, it is one of my passions because I see so many Farang men who have a Thai girlfriend and then decide to marry her and they end up in all sorts of problems due to a lack of understanding of cultures. This is from both sides and is largely what this website is about because it makes me sad when I hear the horror stories about Thai girlfriends and Thai wives and their Farang husbands.

For example recently I read about 2 stories of Farang trying to commit suicide because of their Thai wife leaving them, one was a Swedish man and one was an Australian man and both of these incidents happened in Thailand.

I also found out some interesting statistics that show marriages between Thai and Farang are rising at about 10% every year and have been for the past 10 or 15 years in fact. This is positive news I think, even though the statistics also show that about 6% of divorces are intercultural marriages.

The statistics for divorce worldwide are quite  shocking really with the US at nearly 50% divorce rate for all marriages. Thailand at this stage is down the list at around 6% but………we have to be careful because this statistic is only for registered marriages and many Thai marriages are not registered at a district office…something I will talk more about in future post.

As I have said before I believe the divorce rates between Thai and Farang can be helped by having a better understanding between our cultures and taking more preventative approaches, something which I really hope this website and my service can help with.

So remember if you are considering having a Thai wife then try to get a good understanding first of how the cultural difference will affect the relationship, keep coming to this website for more information and tips and celebrate your differences.

Read a step by step process for getting married in Thailand if you are Australian and want to marry your Thai girlfriend: Australian and Thai Girlfriend marriage- Step by Step process for a legal Thai marriage


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What you should know about having a Thai wife

So you have had a beautiful Thai girlfriend for a while and she is everything you could ever hope for in a woman because she is sweet, loving, beautiful, she cares for you and looks after you in a way you could only have dreamed of before.

And now you feel you have made the decision to make her your Thai wife and ask her to marry you.

You are fairly confident she will say yes because you are both so happy with each other and feel so much in love, it’s a beautiful thing and you can both only see a wonderful future together when she becomes your Thai wife and you live together.

Well, yes this is all very possible but there are a few things you should be ready for that will help make the wonderful life you hope for a reality and not full of misunderstandings and disappointment.

  1. Thai wife = the “Yes” wife! There is a lot of comments made by Western men about their Thai wives that they never say exactly what they want, that they just say “Yes” or “Ok” all the time. Thai people call this Greng Jai which basically means not wanting to upset and it can be extremely confusing and frustrating for western men because it can seem like they are hiding or do not want to be open. Nothing could be further from the truth, the reality is that it is part of Thai culture.
  2. Expect your kitchen to radically change!!! Food and cooking is deeply ingrained in Thai culture and your Thai wife is unlikely to be an exception. Don’t expect her to change her diet to a western diet just because she lies in the West. She will seek out all the foods she wants to eat and will soon have your kitchen converted from a nice tidy and minimalist Western man’s kitchen to a bustling, vibrant Asian kitchen with bottles of sauce and herbs you have never even heard of!! She will eat rice, fish and noodles for breakfast and almost everything will be spicy hot. This is her way and the best thing you can do is just accept and enjoy the experience of some of the most amazing culinary delights on the planet. ……Oh and you will need to get a rice cooker!!!
  3. Buddhism, Monks and Temples: Many Thai people follow Buddhism and believe in Karma and so your new Thai wife is very likely to do so also. This means she will want to find a Thai temple local to you and visit their once in a while. She will want to talk to the Buddhist monk ( who incidently… may well be English ..) and may well ask you to attend also. thai temple Nollamara WAYou will often find her paying respects to Buddha and saying prayers for all sorts of reasons at all times of the day and night. Again this is part of her way and culture. Buddhism is in fact a very relaxed religion, more of a philosophy really and may even find yourself being interested in it too.
  4. Marry her…Marry her Family too!!! Thai families are very close and like to stay in touch constantly. They also are very loyal to their families and believe in sharing, giving and taking care of each other, especially children taking care of older parents.. This leads many western men to feel as though they have married her family as well as her and can cause many problems if not understood correctly. This is also part of Buddhist belief too and so you will find it unlikely to disappear. Try to accept that this is born out of goodness and giving and a strong sense of family and community and that you are also welcome to be part of that. Try not to stand aside but just share and enjoy your new family and they will show you much respect and gratitude back.

This is just an overview of some of the main things that can cause problems but when accepted and understood correctly can in fact bring you closer together as well as enriching your life with a culture that is mainly about giving.

I hope you find this information useful in your beautiful relationship with your Thai wife.

Hope and Solutions

Thai Girlfriend Advisor

by Angella


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