Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Tag: thai culture (Page 1 of 2)

Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective – ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa Column

This article on my weekly column at ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa talks about “Trust and Honesty from a Thai perspective” and uses a simple story about Mr Chokdee to illustrate how Thai culture can be very complex.

The article raises many questions and is not meant to answer them all, I just want to show Western people a condition that happens in our society as it is one of the cause of many issues with Thai people but this is our culture and what we are used to it., maybe it seem strange for western and we may not support or agree with it but we do have to live with it.

There are many interesting reactions to this post in the comments section and I think this helps us see the different perspectives from different cultures.

Enjoy the post here:

Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective

Sawasdee and Kop kuhn ka


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Angella takes Dean to Tam Buhn with Master Monk “Luang Phor Jarun”

I thought I would add this post here as it is a very positive article about the experiences I have had with the practice of Tam Buhn in Thailand. I have had a few experiences now and I feel that as a Western man married to a Thai woman I should show respect for her culture and gain an understanding of it to help me in our relationship, so here is one experience I have had.

Luang Phor Jarun is a well respected Thai Monk

Angella had been planning for some time to take me to see the Master monk Luang Phor Jarun. He is quite a well reknown and respected monk who is now into his 80′s…… can read about him at

So on one Sunday morning we set off to The Abbot, Wat Ambhavan, Promburi District. He only comes out to recieve Tam Buhn twice a day and so we aimed at the morning session which we guessed would be at 11am. However when we arrived we found out that we had missed him that morning but he would be back out again at 2pm. Driving all that way we decided to wait until 2pm and just enjoy exploring around the Abbot as it is a very peaceful place.

the abbot is a place for meditation and I know Angella has often been there sometimes for 3 days or 7 Days to practice Vippissana  meditation

In fact the abbot is a place for meditation and I know Angella has often been there sometimes for 3 days or 7 Days to practice Vippissana  meditation, the practice of mindfulness meditation. I won’t go into detail here but from what I have learned it involves many hours of meditation and silence and although I also practice meditation I have yet to try this.

A Tarot Card Reader told us there was a possibility of some accidents involving our children!!

The first thing we decided to do was to set some creatures free into the River. By this I mean in particlar turtles and eels that we bought from some sellers at the gates of the Abbot. You see the day before we had been for a tarot card reading with a reader that Angella respects very much and she had told us both that there was possibility of some accidents involving our children. Clearly this is not something we cold ignore and so the practice of setting some creatures free and saying some prayers about our children at the same time is a way of helping to keep them safe.

We took time to chat to a Chinese Monk before the Master came out

So down by the rivers edge we set 2 turtles free, which was really quite funny and cute to watch and some eels also. We then spent some more time wondering the Abbot which included having some lunch that the meditation groups who are there for the 3 day meditation practice would eat (which is all free I might add…not the tastiest but there you go)…We wondered the souveneir type stalls and took some time to chat to a Chinese monk in the temple area before The Master came out.

You could see how well known and respected this monk is as many people began to gather in and around the temple area 30 minutes before 2pm. Many of these people would bear gifts to give to the Monk and many like ourselves would have an envelope with money to present to him in the form of Tam Buhn. This money is a gift and is used by the Monk to do good things with such as build Temples, shelters and other things that can help people.

It seems that dogs have figured out that Temples are a good place to sleep and eat for free!

What is important to understand about these temples is that are in fact a refuge also for people in need. If you have no food or money you can go to a temple and get food for free. You can pray and meditate. One funny note is it seems dogs have figured this one out because there are many dogs hanging around but I don’t know if it was just me but they seemed quite passive and peaceful almost as if the whole Spiritual experience and way of being had influenced their behavior in some way. Not sure if they practiced meditation but many seemed happy sleeping all over the place and when the chimes rang for the hour clock they all started howling!!!

As the time approached 2pm it was amazing to see how many people had gathered and now the temple area was quite full and overflowing. We took off our shoes as is the custom and found a spot to sit and wait for the Monk to appear. When he did it was almost like a celebrity had arrived, he had helpers to help him of course because he is very old and there was a sort of soft gasp from everyone when he came out and sat in the grand chair.

You offer your Tam Buhn gift to create good Karma

As he came out everyone shuffled on their knees closer to him and to be able to see him and then people begin to line up to present their Tam Buhn gift to him. What is important here is to offer the gift with both hands and lifted up to him. The idea is he will bless you for this and use it for good thus creating good karma for you in this life and also the next life.

What impresses me is how this promotes giving and sharing

Eventually we made it to our turn and presented our gifts. It was all over very quickly but there is a sort of reverence and energy you feel when you do this and I must be honest I quite enjoyed it. What impresses me is how this promotes giving and sharing without any real expectation which is very much the Buddhist way.

Next time I will share even more experiences that I have had with the various practices of Thai Buddhist Culture which I feel are good to know if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman.

Until then..Stay safe and Peaceful


The Social Commenter


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Loy Krathong Festival

One of the most beautiful festivals that takes place in Thailand is the one for Loy Krathong.

The Loy Krathong Festival is celebrated on the full moon of the 12th month according to the Thai Lunar Calendar. For Western this means in November.It is held at the end of the year because Thai people believe that floating a raft on the river is to honor and pay respect to the Goddess of Water and to apologize to the Goddess for the bad things we have done to the river during the past year.

What is Loy Krathong ? The word loy means to float, and a krathong is a banana leaf cup. People place a candle and incense sticks in their krathongs and then float them on a local river or pond. As they push away their krathong, they ask for forgiveness in polluting the waterways and also for good luck in the coming months.

‘Many Thai believe that floating a raft will bring good luck’

Where did the idea for Loy Krathong come from?

The origins of Loy Krathong are stated to be in Sukhothai, but recently scholars have argued that it is in fact an invention from the Bangkok period. According to the writings of H.M. King Rama IV in 1863, the originally Brahmanical festival was adapted by Buddhists in Thailand as a ceremony to honour the original Buddha, Siddhartha Guatama

There are often also beauty contests that accompany the Loy Krathong festival known as “Noppamas Queen Contests”. According to legend, Noppamas was a consort of the Sukothai king Loethai (14th century) and she was the first to float a decorated raft.

Enjoy some music videos about Loy Krathong

For more Thai Festivals go to Amazing Thailand Festivals in the Land of Smiles


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Warm welcome for a Foreigner in Thailand

My last post was about a situation I witnessed in Australia where a Thai woman was ignored, whether intentionally or not by a group of western women at a junior sports function.

I left off saying that I had a couple of contrasting experiences myself when I was in Thailand with my Thai girlfriend Angella. Personally I must say that I think that we can learn much from Thai culture and Thai people as you will see.

The first contrasting experience is when I went with Angella to a a large seminar that she was acting as MC at. It was a full day at a large hotel in Bangkok with over 200 attendees…”All Thai”. Not only all Thai but 85% were Thai women with only a hand full of Thai men and then me..the only Farang Western guy there. I think I only knew about 3 people there also who were the organisers who I had met only once a few days before with Angella when they were planning the event.

Now I should point out that I can only speak a few words of Thai…Hello, I’m fine and thankyou and that’s about it…whereas Angella can speak English quite well and is very capable of holding a conversation in English.

But back to my experience, the day finished at around 4.30pm and I can hardly count how many Thai people had said hello to me in some way or would be at least 20 or 30 people. All day long I was made to feel welcome whether it was a sawasdee ka (hello) or even just a smile..I never once felt like an alien westerner among Thai people and when we had lunch I even was asked many questions and had conversations with Thai people.

The second is Angella’s young niece of 4 years old. I know she is family but when I went to Angell’ s brothers house his gorgeous daughter served me with drinks, food and made sure I was welcome..she was not prompted to do this by her parents and she showed no fear of this big Farang man in her house…

does it make you think?

…..but what can be learned that is positive is that we can learn much from our Thai counterparts in the way that they welcome us into their country, their homes and their hearts….even at the tender age of 4 years old!!

On this planet which is forever growing smaller by the day we should learn to take the best from all cultures…there are also many good and positive things about our western culture that the asians can and do learn from….it’s time we stop thinking we know it all and open our eyes, our hearts and minds to all that that the people of this world have to offer..


The Intercultural and Social Commentor


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Amazing once in a life time in Thailand

Welcome to amazing Thailand” is something just about everyone says once they have experienced the beauty of my country.

Please enjoy this video that shows off the wonders of Thailand ‘The land of smiles‘ and Thai culture.


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