Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Tag: bangkok

Bangkok is a soft City but here is why

For me I believe Bangkok is a soft City but here is why….

Dean at Chao Phraya river Bangkok

You know I have been in Bangkok now for just over 3 months and this is my third visit to this City. I don’t  profess to be any kind of expert but being married to a Thai woman like Angella and as writer and Artist trained in the art of observation along with my travel experiences and background I think I can form valid observations and insights fairly quickly.

I know there are many of you who have been here a lot longer than I have and may have a different view point but I can only tell it from what I see and experience for myself.

And so far my impressions of Bangkok is that it is a soft City.

Let me clarify that this is a positive thing because what I mean about this is that it is not an angry City. Recently we were having coffee with a Swedish friend over at Starbucks at Ari Station and both he and I agreed that Bangkok is not a harsh City. You don’t feel threatened with your personal safety like in other cities.

Bangkok City Skyline by Thai Girlfriend Advisor

For me I grew up in England only a few miles out of South London and can honestly say they are worlds apart as Cities go. That was 20 years ago and since then I have lived in Perth Western Australia which is also a much more relaxed and safer place than London even though over the 20 years I have been there I have seen the sense of safety eroded as sadly I have to say more and more English settle there. But  Bkk even in comparison to Perth feels much safer

Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming the English entirely, but as an Englishman I know our culture very well and we do seem to bring with us a certain aggressiveness wherever we go. Current writer excepted of course..(lol)

English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other

So when I compare that to Bangkok I do believe it is a softer city. I have just not seen the displays of aggressiveness, rudeness and indifference that I am used to. Even in other Cities around the world as our Swedish friend will attest to coming from Stockholm and having lived in Bangkok for nearly 10 years. It seems we English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other.

So what about Bangkok then, why does it appear so soft?

Well firstly to every positive there is a negative and as our friend commented and as I am also aware there is a negative underside to Bangkok. You can just as easily get stabbed, mugged or beaten up as in London if you look for it by placing yourself in those places and situations. But what we identified was that it is the Thai culture of passive show that is one of the big reasons for this soft impression along with of course the strong Buddhist culture which promotes passive kindness.

You might upset a Thai but they will not show you aggression or reaction there and then

What our friend explained to me was that you might well upset a Thai but they will not show you any real aggression or reaction there and then. It is simply not their style to do that. It is not accepted and it is not their way…the famous saying of Greng Jai comes into play here also. But beware, because no sooner have you forgotten all about the incident when you will be confronted by their reaction…maybe in a quite alley somewhere or by some other means.

So this means that although Thais do not show too much reaction and aggression as as say the English will it does not mean they will just let it go. But it does seem that unprovoked displays of aggression or personal attacks are not as commonplace as many of our Western Cities and towns. To me it simply does not seem that Thais go looking for trouble and are much more willing to avoid confrontation, especially in public.

No sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi

I am reminded of New Years even which we spent with family at Central World in the middle of Bangkok. Apart from the lovely relaxed mood all evening there was also no sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi. Granted there was a lot of Police around but this would also be the case in Perth and London but you would still see trouble.

I feel that Buddhist culture seems to equip them with a higher level of tolerance and patience as can be seen by the driving and road behavior. I swear that if we put some of these antics back in Australia there would be all sorts of carnage on the roads and not caused by car crashes.

I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure

So this is one of the reasons I have very quickly fallen in love with the place. As a farang I am aware as we all are of how many curious looks and stares we get especially if like me we inhabit areas mostly inhabited by Thai people. Sometimes I feel like an exhibit piece walking down our Soi. But I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure, even when on occasion I have walked back very late at night from watching Soccer at one of the local beer houses.

There seems to be much more connection between people here also. Not the cold alloofness you experience in London and not the indifference displayed in many other Cities. Here they will actually acknowledge you if they have seen you before, even for me a Farang who they cannot really talk to I am warmed by their friendly attention and politeness.

So my impression is that Bangkok is blessed to be a soft City

So here is to Bangkok the friendly City!!!

All the best and Chok Dee,


Intercultural and Social Commenter


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Wayne Rooney, Rooney wife, the England Jolly boys and the “Land of smiles”

So what is all this fuss about Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney’s wife and Thailand?

Well first off I must say I am already planning to be in Thailand next year in I have my ticket all lined up..why!! well because I am English of course ( even though I have lived in Australia for 20 years and am in fact an australian Citizien I was born in england and lived there until 24yrs old) and so if the reports coming out of the UK are true and the England soccer team (or Football team is what i should say because only aussies and americans call it England it is quite clearly Football!!) are flagged to come to Bangkok and play the Thailand National football team then I for one will be here to see it.
wayne rooney wayne rooney
But amidst all that there seems to be a bigger story about the exploits of a certain Mr Wayne Rooney, who happens to be one of my favorite players actually and plays for the team I follow being Manchester United, and the fact that he will not be able to restrain himself from the charms and desires of a temporary Thai Girlfriend. Yes apparently, according to Rooney’s wife Colleen, Bangkok is the sex capital of the world and it will be like jumping into the frying pan for young Wayne.

Why all the fuss you ask?

Because young Wayne Rooney has recently been exposed as paying for sex with girls in England and so with Bangkok being (apparently) the world centre for pay for sex how will he be able to control himself.
lol, well if all this can be believed and let’s face it how much of the English tabloid press can you really believe, then it does seem there there could be a little misconception about Thailand going on. First of course you have to understand that the English love a scandal, and most of those reading and believing this sort of story won’t have a clue what Thailand is really like! But it is ashame that a country as beautfil as the former Siam can be tagged so easily with one label, which in fact is not true and also when the same can be said of London, Paris, New york and many other major capitals of the world who all have a seedy underbelly to their exisitence.
The UK press love scandal and so do it’s readers, who are very often easily seduced by the negative side of fame and fortune commonly known as “Gossip”.

The real story is though that apparently the England Football squad will arrive in June of next year to play Thailand as part of England’s bid to host the world Cup in….. It also co-incides with the Thai King’s birthday and so the English FA ( Englands football/soccer governing body) has penciled in a trip to the former Siam.

Now you have remember here there are two ways to look at this…There is the tabloid view and the professional football view.

The Football view is that these players, many of whom are among the best in the world and play for some of the top teams in europe are in fact professional footballers and will be representing their country. They will have instructions to behave appropriately and be a good example. Drinking will certainly not be allowed and the prospect of being caught engaging in less than appropriate behavior can result in a loss of place on the England squad, which as every top level footballer will tell you is their ultimate dream goal and not something they would want to throw away.
Then there is the tabloid view of things and that is that these players all in their early and mid twenties, some of whom like the likes of Wayne Rooney are always out for a good time and will run a mock in Bangkok like being on some “Jolly boys ” outing. Indeed it is true that a few of the other players have been involved in some so called scandalous behavior in England..of course always involving women!! So is there any hope that they won’t be able to control their urges and be on a mission to seek out as many Thai bar girls as possible whilst in Bangkok?
Well it is not hard to see which one will sell newspapaers and magazines and be great TV news is it? How hard would it be to get a picture of Wayne rooney or John Terry chatting innocently to some Thai woman and then being able to concoct a whole sordid story around it? Just watch what happens when the England squad arrives and spot the 100′s of photographers (paparazzi!!) buzzing around then like flies, and you can bet there will some of those flies who will be hiding in bushes, flower pots and tuk tks trying to get a juicy shot of one of the players engaged in something naughty!!..ho hum..such is the English way!!
The sad part of this is that Thailand and Bangkok will be the injured innocent party with their beautiful culture and country tarnished by misconceptions and manipulations fuelled by tabloid greed and English ignorance”

So there you have it…the perspective of an Englishman who spends much time in Thailand.
See you in June then!!
Intercultural and Social Commenter


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