Sawasdee ka Friends, On this page I will answer any question you have about Thai culture , Thai style and about relationships with Thai women. So I invite you to please ask your question as a comment below and I will give you my honest answer as best I can for you on this page.
That way other people can get benefit of this Free information ka.
Angella
Question:
Hi Angella, How are you doing? Hope you and Dean are good. I recently set up a Thai Love Links profile which I know is very decent and truthful about myself.
On Thai Love Links there is an option to chat to another member on thesite, but the problem I find is when I start a conversation, they rarelyconnect to chat back.From what I have heard, Thai’s love to talk and someare offended if you don’t talk back to them. I have visited Thailand 3times before, and I notice how their culture is very different to mine,but I can not work this one out.
I love to read about Thai culture, and understand 99% of it, but hope youcan help me out with this small problem, and I appreciate any feedback
Thank you, and keep up the good work on your website and everything else. Yours Sincerely. J
My Answer:
Hello Sawasdee ka J
Firstly well done for setting up a Thai Love links profile and wish you
success with that. Ok well there can be many reasons and I can’t comment on your profile but I think I can give you a few ideas.First is that from my experience I know some girls do not know they can chat on that site.
Another reason is many girls may not be able to talk English..so they will be shy to try cos they are not confident, sometimes some girls will be in a cafe online will get the owner or anyone there who can understand English to help…but if not they will not be able to chat and will fear to try.
So what can you do? Ok for start don’t give up and keep trying. Also perhaps learn a few words of Thai and start with that, no need to have big conversation in thai just a few word to start….for example Sawasdee khab which is hello in Thai…you can get more words like that and how to say
them on my website at this link
http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/learn-thai-language-for-holiday-dating/How is your profile? Remember many thai girl not able to read everything…Hope that help you J and Chok Dee
Angella
Question:
Hi Angella
Thanks so much for your tips. I got your e-book & found it to be theelusive obvious.
I can speak basic Thai & have been slowly learning the last few years. I can hold a basic conversation for 15 minutes or so with someone without using English before I start running out of vocab.
Your tip today was interesting because now that I can speak some Thai I havefound it more of a disadvantage in meeting woman. Sure if I want to know agirl who has a very basic English ability it helps but I am interested building a relationship with a woman who already speaks English well.
From my experience in meeting a dozen or so women over the last year or sowho were all educated Thai women with a good English ability they mostlyreacted negatively to my speaking Thai. One woman even told me she wouldnever date a guy who could speak Thai. It seems that many Thai womanautomatically brand any Fa Rang who can speak Thai a playboy.
What is going here? I can not understand the almost universal disapprovalthese woman had of Fa Rang men speaking Thai. Most of these woman I metwere based here in New Zealand but some where also in Bangkok.I just read your advise email & it seems to go against my experience so Iamcurious as to what your opinion is on this.
Andy
My Answer:
Sawasdee Andy
Thankyou for your email ka, which I confess make me smile because it
correct what you say about Thai women when you speak Thai to them. It is
true that if you speak Thai too good then it can make them think you are
like a playboy or have many Thai women or something like that.What I advise in my tips to men who don’t know any Thai language is just
to learn a few words and phrases for a first impression and just try as a
sign of respect to Thai people.So Andy it’s not wrong you can speak Thai well and maybe you can explain
to Thai women quickly that you just enjoy to learn and speak Thai good, so
they no need to worry and get you wrong.Khob khun ka and hope you enjoy more my tips and website
Angella
13 comments
mark says:
August 1, 2011 at 8:08 am (UTC 0 )
Hi Angelia,
I have been with a thai woman for just over 12 months & we recently had a traditional thai wedding in Surin at her parents home & was a great experience, I really love this woman & no she is not a bar girl but yes we met on the internet . in keeping with thai culture she has asked for a soraly ( i think thats how you spell it) which I give her even though I dont earn a lot of money but what I am concerned about is she puts this money aside for herself & wants to go shopping all the time & buy cloths , shoes & underwear aswell as jewellry & demands I pay for this on top of her soraly, now its not like she has never had cloths or shoes because I have seen what she has & she could open a department store with everything she has. this is really starting to get to me financially & emotionally as I want this marriage to work but I cant afford to keep doing this. how do I tell her without her calling me cheap charlie as she always does even though I told her from the first time we met that I am not a rich man.
Mark
Angella says:
August 18, 2011 at 6:29 am (UTC 0 )
Hi Mark, Warm welcome to TGA Q&A
I don’t know how old she is …maybe still young and maybe this the first marriage for her I’m not sure
But I would suggest you the best is to be honest by talking to her openly and directly as a husband and wife.
Maybe explain that economy is difficult right now and everyone must be careful with money.
Try asking her that she could really help and support you by finding ways to save money on everyday things,
be smart frugal not be wasteful and you believe she can do that very well.
With “cheap charlie” Mark you are awesome you know that, you are not cheap and nobody on this planet know you better than you know your self, so don’t let a few words destroy who you are.
Also I would like to suggest you say to her ” maybe you not know that is not nice thing to call me your husband “cheap Charlie” and it doesn’t help me feel motivated to earn more money”
You just being the generous person and say to her “maybe she does know that was upset to call you like that by give her the benefit that she doesn’t know how bad it was and let her know that you love her and forgive her and can let it go but don’t say that again”
Please say these things in a nice caring way with understanding and not to create a war between you. If this not work then come back to me.
Hope this helps you Mark.
All the best, Angella
Secret says:
September 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm (UTC 0 )
Heyy
So first alittle background about me…I am an exchange student in Rayong/Bangkok Thailand and I am 16 btw… I have been dating a thai girl for 2 months and I guess u could say things are getting alittle serious
I was wondering what would be your advise if we were to study at the same university together ( we talk about this alittle bit) university is 2013 btw…I will stay in thailand untill 2012 and come back to usa and then apply for university in Thailand…
And another off topic question…. My gf is jealous alot i think? and she is really emotional sometimes…what is ur best reccomendation to handle a (spat, argument,dissagreement)
Thanks
P.s sorry for bad english…my english keeps getting worse
Angella says:
October 10, 2011 at 3:59 pm (UTC 0 )
Hi Secret Boy,
Thanks for your question and hope you are safe and still enjoy to living in my country as flood are happening in every part of Thailand.
Regarding your question.
“My gf is jealous alot i think? and she is really emotional sometimes…what is ur best reccomendation to handle a (spat, argument,disagreement)”
If thing like that happen to my son in teenage period like you guys…I will let him learn and get experience by himself…nothing wrong, nothing right if you can’t handle with that… you know what I mean?..
something happen without expectation and also the emotions can change any time without the reasons…and then later maybe 10 or 20 years you will understand more.
So what I will guide you to do is the same… time to learn and get experience.
the emotional ups and downs in teenage relationship are without any real reason
accept for the development of emotional maturity…This is one way for human to learn.
All the best and enjoy your age of discovery.
Angella
Claudio says:
November 2, 2011 at 9:28 pm (UTC 0 )
Sawasdee Angella,
I am a 41 years old who fell in love with a thai girl of 27 met casually on a dating site.
we’ve been together during my holiday, and now she applied a visa that she got to come visit me in my country, she should be coming soon.
I do love her a lot, even if we still don’t know each other well, this is why i am happy she’s coming here for some time, we can know each other better and see how we fits, not only on holiday time.
the reason why i am writing, is that i am worried she might only be acting and being looking only for easy money… i was reading from some forum about other people experience, and next to happy people who’s sharing their life i saw also bad stories.
One of the stories i read was talking exactly as it was happening to me, while i’m home i’ve been supporting her for many espences about the visa application, and for other stuff too, the broken laptop that needed to be fixed in order to allow us a video communication on skype, a lost wallet from her including some of the money i gave for the visa, an insurance stated to be costing more then what actually was, same as flight ticket, some money to payback the goverment a debt she had from school (is it possible?), the dentist, new passport, medicines,… in the beginning i was not noticing too much, being so excited i was supporting her to allow her to come visit me, but when i read on the forum about a guy saying that many girls from dating sites are acting like that (i’m sure not all of them) , making examples of the way to get money by farang as it occourred to me (the school debt, higher prices then really spent or help mom, that i did not hear yet), this until they find out that they cannot get more money so they will start beating again the date sites.
i was starting thinking she might be only acting (seems that some thai girls can do it very well) …and now the laptop is broken again, and crying she told me mom is having problem paying a debt she has with the bank!
off course she did not ask for my financial support directly, she never did… just underlining the difficulties she was meeting time by time waiting me to offer for help.
Now, even if i wanted, i could not help her since the money left are good just to support her while soon she will be here, if she ever will.
I really don’t know what to do now, i tried to explain her what’s my possibilities and my limits, what i have to offer her that we could share, at which she answered just that she does not care because she loves me.
but one day later… laptop is broken and mama does not have money to pay a debt.
i told her i have no money now to support (which is actually true), at which she answered that she did not ask for my money.
this is true.
It’s also true that she really got the visa, she had to go to bangkok to apply, that she used my money also to buy winter stuff that will not be of any use for her in Thailand, so it seems she is really interested to come and meet me, as i always believed.
Now what i am scared about is that i have been treated like a fool, but what is worst is that i don’t know how long she could have been playing this game (if she’s not honest, I mean).
In our talking it happen to mention a possible marriage, that is actually also the only way we could really live together, not every now and then just for holidays.
I love her, and i am ready to share everything i have with her, but how can i know if she’s only taking advange on me?
do you think it’s possible she might be acting, and that she might keep on until we marry just to get a quick divorce and get as much as she can from me?
any of your reccomendation is very welcome
Thanks in advance
Angella says:
November 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm (UTC 0 )
Hi Claudio and thankyou for your Question
Firstly let me tell you that you have done some good things already in this situation. To get to know each other better by spending more time together in your country is a good idea. Especially if you live more like a normal couple and not so much of a holiday time because you will get to see each other without the wonderful holiday feeling and atmosphere…however I do not know what country you are from?
It is also good that you have told her that you cannot pay anymore and that you have limit to your finances because this can be one way of testing to see if she will stay together with you if you do not support her financially.
To answer your question of “do you think it’s possible she might be acting, and that she might keep on until we marry just to get a quick divorce and get as much as she can from me?
She could be but it is difficult to say because I do not know very much about her background. Yes it is true that there are a lot of Thai girls who play this game with Farang. It does seem she is asking for many things from you financially which would seem too much for a relationship this young and I think even if she is genuine this could be a sign of things to come for you in a relationship with her as to be honest she does seem to be taking advantage of your generous nature.
Claudio you seem a nice and generous person and my advice would be to be very careful with what you offer and give this girl and you may have to be a little careful with how much access she has to your finances if/when she comes to your country. I am sorry that I have to be very honest with you Claudio because I know what you would prefer to hear but I have to say that I feel you might be in a high risk area here.
I have recently written a new post about this also which may give you some further perspective on your situation. You can read it at this link Online dating and Thai Girls
Thankyou and I wish you the best in your relationship
Angella
kokcheng says:
November 19, 2011 at 2:36 am (UTC 0 )
Hi Angella,
I would like to know whether Wat Ambhavan has been affected by the flood recently?I understand that you do go to this wat for meditation.I am really moved by the stories that I had read in the book,Fruit of Karma 2.How is the Luang Poh?Hope he is fine and well.By the way,how far is this wat from Bangkok?I would appreciate very much if you could let me know anything about this wonderful Abbot of Wat Ambhavan.My question is certainly not the usual ones.Hope you can be of some help.Thanks.
Angella says:
November 23, 2011 at 8:48 am (UTC 0 )
Hi Sawasdee ka Kokcheng,
Nice to have a question like this and I am happy to help you.
Q1.Wat Ambhavan has been affected by the flood recently?
I just checked the flood situation in Thailand and good the news is that you can go to Wat Amphawan because there is no flood there but if you use Asia road maybe some still have floods so you better check before you go. Hot Line T. 1586
Q2. How is the Luang Poh? Hope he is fine and well.By the way,how far is this wat from Bangkok?
Laung Porh Jarun is fine (when I saw him last a few months ago)
The distance from BKK to Wat Amphawan ,Singburi province is around 140 – 174 Km. you can read more from the link below they also have Wat Amphawan website.
http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/angella-takes-dean-to-tam-buhn-with-master-monk-luang-phor-jarun/
All the best,
Angella
kokcheng says:
December 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm (UTC 0 )
Hi Sawasdee kap Angella,
Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions.First of all I would like to express my sincere apologies for just having read your reply.I was away for a short holiday..
Yes,I need to check the flood situation in that area and thanks for the Hot Line.
Thanks for the link.
Take care.May you be by Buddha at all times,
kokcheng.
David says:
December 5, 2011 at 6:15 pm (UTC 0 )
Sawasdee Angella.
Advice needed from a concerned gent.
I recently met a Thai girl on-line, and after about 6 months I decided to fly to Thailand from England to meet her. We had a great week together, and so we decided to move our young relationship on to the next step so speak, looking at a possible marriage in 2 may be 3 years.
It was at this point, I became a little suspicious.
I was advised that a Sin sot, would be about £10000, with monthly payments to her mother (father dead) of £400, and that I would also be required to pay my prospective Fiancée £600 each month to prove I could support her. Initial negotiations regards these figures, seem to have drawn a blank, particularly where the Sin sot is concerned.
It was at this point my Firewall went active!
Having browsed many of the forums now, I am getting more than a little concerned, as Sin sot is more usually in the amount of £1000 – £3000 including 2 or 4 Gold coins. Similarly I am finding reports that payments to parents are much lower, in the region of perhaps £100 – £300 every few months, and in some cases not all. To date, I can find no clear reference as to the cost of supporting your Thai girlfriend, and having read about Claudio’s problem, I am keen not to go down the same path. Interestingly my Thai g/f also now has a busted laptop, have Thai girls never heard of Anti-virus programs?
At this point, I am proceeding with extreme caution, I have made it very clear to said Thai g/f, I will not be paying £10000 Sin sot, and if she wishes me to send money to support her Mother in the years to come, she must also work and pay 50%. I won’t be sending money to buy a replacement laptop, though I have sent a little to her this month, as her office is still closed due to the floods, with her living/working in Bangkok, but it has been made very clear, it will not happen every month.
I don’t believe that all Thai girls behave in this manner, as this is the 2nd Thai girl that I have dated and flown out to meet, it was just unfortunate that it didn’t work out with the first g/f, as she was very different in character, never asked for any money and works very hard. The good news is that we are still occasionally in touch.
A little history about me. I was married in England for 21 years, until I found out about the ex-wife’s affair/relationship with another man for 6 years while I fought cancer. My life is now sorted and I have a good job with no debts. I don’t consider myself a tight-fisted git, though needless to say, I am a careful fellow these days and 2012 is posing a good question, Thailand to see g/f and scuba diving, or whether to say bye bye to the g/f and her over-pitched Sin sot and go to the Maldives on my own.
David
Angella says:
December 20, 2011 at 12:04 am (UTC 0 )
Hi Sawasdee ka David,
First thank you for joining Q&A and sorry for take a bit time to get back to you.
To be honest your story is a very classic with Thai and Farang relationships to consider and sensitive issue.
My advice is follow your heart.. You know if you not love her then you really have nothing to worry about,
But if you really love your Thai g/f and she sincerely loves you too
then you may think about going to meet her and talk to her about what you can do and what you can’t, like Sin Sot
and financial support..If her love is true and not just about your money,then love will find a way to keep you both together.
but if not..then it’s good to clear that situation with no regret and go happy on your own way
In fact I have it in mind to write an article on this site about the detail of Sin Sot which many westerners may not know
but for your information I can tell you that you have a right to choose whether to pay that or not as well as
the money to support her Mum and herself each month…..that is her own request and nothing to do with Thai culture to ask that from a fiancee.
All the best and Merry Christmas,
Angella
Deandre says:
January 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm (UTC 0 )
That’s not just logic. That’s rlaely sensible.
Loradae says:
January 3, 2012 at 8:43 pm (UTC 0 )
Glad I’ve finlaly found something I agree with!