“Jung-wa Hua Jai” Another popular Thai Music song ” Jung Wa Hua Jai “ by Bie The Star. by Bie Sukrit Wisetkaew บี้ The Star – จังหวะหัวใจ – Jung Wa Hua Jai อยู่ๆใจก็ตึกตั่ก ก็เพราะเธอมันน่ารัก yoo yoo jai gor teuk tak gor pror ter man naa rak Suddenly my heart would palpitates, and it’s because you’re …
Is it really conceivable that we could be on the brink of Revolution in Thailand….The land of Smiles? I am no expert on Politics in Thailand or for that matter any kind of politics but I do have a keen knowledge and sense of history and having spent a lot of time in Thailand and …
It really is just another way for people to meet but online dating is also another way for people to cheat because insincere people see the opportunity to meet people easily online and take advantage of them.
As a Thai women with Chinese background my family and I still follow Chinese tradition. I just love Chinese New Year because it always remind me when i was a little girl and all children would be excited and looking for “Ung Pow” or “Hóng Bāo” from our parents and relatives. ”Ung Pow ” means in English a Chinese red envelope with money placed inside, it can be around 80, 800 or 8,000 Bath for good luck,because money used with number 8 has the meaning of prosperity and wealth to children in the family who are not yet earning money regardless of their age.
This year I am so happy to be in Thailand with my family and give “Ung Pow” for good luck to my children,niece ,nephew and my parents and I can’t wait for the festivals to begin. One thing I think important to Intercultural couples is to share their culture together so they can get a better understanding of each other. Thailand and Bangkok in particular has a high population of Chinese with Phuket being the second and many Thai have at least some Chinese Heritage.
Some history about Chinese New Year in Thailand is that it dates back many Centuries to when the Chinese settled in this part of the country bringing with them merchandise of precious goods such as fine porcelain, silk and Chinese tea.Today’s Chinese communities have continued their age-old traditions, customs, and rich culture that were followed by their ancestors and here in Thailand we are very lucky to be able to witness and share in the beauty of these customs.
In Thailand, Chinese New Year celebrations are held over four days. During this time, there are many activities that remind us of the rich cultural, historical and artistic culture of the Chinese such as the Golden Dragon Processions and Lion dances.
So that is a small slice of Chinese New Year in Thailand perhaps if you are in Thailand you will enjoy them yourself and if you are thinking of visiting this is always a lovely time to visit Thailand.
เทศกาลตรุษจีน- Chinese Festival Program in Thailand
ททท. จัดงานเทศกาลตรุษจีนยิ่งใหญ่ใน 10 พื้นที่หลักทั่วประเทศ พร้อมเตรียมการแสดงทางวัฒนธรรม จากสาธารณรัฐประชาชนจีน ร่วมในเทศกาลตรุษจีนไชน่าทาวน์ ปี 2554 เฉลิมฉลองวโรกาสมหามงคลพระบาทสมเด็จพระเจ้าอยู่หัวฯ ทรงเจริญพระชนมายุ 84 พรรษา
Jealousy is an important relationship issue for all cultures as well as those with Thai women.
I know many Farang make the comment about Thai women being very jealous. I know there is some truth in this and I have talked about some of the cultural reasons why this is. Here is a coffee conversation I had with Dean which I think you will find interesting and hopefully enlightening and sometimes even a little funny…
Angella: What do you think about jealousy?
Dean: For me I would consider myself not an overly jealous person but I must admit that I can feel the threat of jealous emotions rising in me when I see you talking to other men at a social function of some sort. Of course I trust you and I know you love me and I also know that you are not a woman who falls in love easily. But you are very attractive and I know men will easily develop feelings for you and so I must confess it is in the back of my mind sometimes. I just learn to keep it under control and not develop.
Angella: So what do you do to keep it under control?
Dean: The key for me is that if I saw that you were responding to another man in what might seem like a flirtatious manner, that you were enjoying yourself so much in his company and for a lengthy period then I might start to feel the emotion of jealousy more stronger because that is how you are with me and I only want it to be with me and I would not expect you to act like that and so it would raise some question or doubt in my mind if you did. This works both ways and I expect that I will also behave in the right way too. I think this is out of mutual respect and love for each other and the care to not want to upset or hurt each other.
Thai women who might act very jealous to their Farang partner as this seems to be something a lot of men comment about.
Dean: So let me ask you, what would you say to someone who feels their partner is acting very jealous…for example Thai women who might act very jealous to their Farang partner as this seems to be something a lot of men comment about.
Angella: Well I think there is always positive and negative and so the key is how to turn negative into a positive. If there is no reason for the jealousy, that it is not real then if we clear the concern, if we can remove the worry then the jealousy can turn into attention.
Dean: So how someone like a western man clear the concern and worry?
Even though you may not be cheating on her perhaps your behavior and actions can appear secretive
Angella: Well they need to decide if her jealousy is just crazy paranoia or it have reason. Can you see yourself from her perspective. Even though you may not be cheating maybe your behavior and actions appear secret as if you are hiding something, even if you are not. Do you check yourself in this way.
Dean: That’s a good point actually…I don’t think all men will think like that
Angella: This is how I suggest to start because if you are honest with yourself you might find that you have appeared like you are hiding something. If so you can then clear her concern and remove the worry. It may mean you have to make some changes to your behavior like letting her know where you are more often, keeping in constant contact, even just a quick text message can mean so much.
Dean: Lol…absolutely, yes this is what we do often just to let each other know what we are doing, where we are and who we are with especially when we are apart in different countries. I know we don’t do it because we feel jealous but I do believe it helps keep any of those feelings at bay because we know about each other all the time.
The mind begins to create stories and starts to read everything in a way that adds up to what it wants to believe
Angella: Exactly! Not knowing is fuel to fire of jealousy or paranoia because the mind begins to create stories and starts to read everything in the way that adds up to what it wants to believe. It will begin to change everything to fit the picture and the funny thing is that it actually wants to be negative sometimes. Because we want to be able to say…See, I knew there was something wrong, just to be able to justify the emotion. This is how the ego mind works sometimes and it can get out of control.
Dean: I know how the mind begins to create all sorts of scenarios and stories. But when is jealousy a mind out of control how do we tell the difference? Especially for Western men with Thai women.
Angella: Well if you have done everything you can to clear the concern and there really is no reason behind your action and you have honestly thought about your actions then I think that her jealousy is crazy jealousy. That it become a dramatic story and she is lost herself to her negative ego.
Maybe she has had bad experiences in the past and so finds it difficult to keep her feelings of jealousy under control
Dean: So what do you do if that happens? Run…!!! lol.
Angella: Haha….Well if you truly love the person then you need some patience and understanding. You need to explain that your relationship needs trust to be successful. You may need to try and find out where her jealousy comes from. Maybe she had bad experiences in the past and finds it difficult to keep her feelings of jealousy under control. You need to earn trust over time. Sometimes these can not be solve in one day or just by a conversation.
Dean: Yes and I know with Thai women that they sometimes have good reason to feel jealous because of Thai men.
Angella: yes it is true that this has had effect on many Thai women and I know many western men might think it an excuse but it is true many Thai women have their boyfriend or husband having other women.
Dean: I must admit I didn’t have to much thought about that before but I do see now how that has affected Thai women and I know it can be difficult for them to overcome those feelings, especially if their man is many miles away in another country. I think any woman and also men would have feelings of insecurity in that situation.
Angella: we are all human and so all experienced some jealousy at some time and if you are open to love then it will come up. So I feel it better to understand that and not leave it until it’s too late. If our loved experience emotion of jealousy we need to understand that is natural and not always without reason. Better to not criticize or be angry we need to show caring and patience and look to positives rather than the negatives.
Rather than criticize or be angry we need to show caring
Dean: Indeed that’s very true…So what else can you say about the comments that Thai women can be very jealous?
Thai men are not the most faithful of husbands and boy friends and so although we can’t say this is the only reason it is part of our culture and does affect Thai women
Angella: Well as I said it is true many Thai women can be crazy jealous because Thai men are not most faithful husbands and boy friends and so maybe we can’t say this the only reason it is part of our culture and does affect Thai women. They find it hard to believe that any man will not cheat on them because they are so used to hearing it and also experiencing it.
Dean: Well that makes sense I suppose..if you are subjected to that often then it will certainly leave a negative imprint and even if it is not direct I guess it’s imprinted on the psyche of Thai women.
Angella: I think so…..and something else I was reading about recently was that there are now so many Gay men in Thailand, one website said something like 80% of Thai men last year in 2010 were turning or were gay…..That’s scary! there seem overcame for 80% and i will research more about these.
Dean: What! you’re kidding me? Where did you read that?
Angella: ha ha ha sorry to shock you but i’m not kidding..,It was on a Thai website so unfortunately you can’t read it..lol. But that’s what it said. I can’t guarantee how accurate that is but I do know it’s become a big problem for women in Thailand and it’s a popular topic too….we talked in a funny way but in fact we are all serious about that.. lol
Dean: Wow…and then you have how many men who are monks and the fact there are more women in Thailand than men…something like 3 to 1 I read and it’s easy to see perhaps Thai women are worried about having no men at all…..so they get jealous easy if they think their Farang man might be up to something…or maybe he is turning GAY…lol!
Angella: ha ha …but serious it is a problem even you laugh. I think I should talk about this some more. Many women now prefer to keep single…because they not sure with a groom on the night they married might become a gay in the morning.. lol!
Dean: Yes it seems a few Asian countries have problems like that and you were telling me that China has the opposite problem of too many men.
Angella: That’s right they have had this for years that they really only want boys as children…you know if they know by ultrasound the child is a female they will get rid of it…that’s so sad
Dean: Is that right, I have heard of that actually but not sure if it’s really true or not…maybe Thai women and Chinese men should get together.
Angella: Well I think ok for Chinese men and yes they do look for Thai women…I think that’s a great idea to make the world balanced between men and women..
Dean: I see….so what about this comment that I see many Farang make about Thai women only being jealous because they worry about some other woman getting the money he has?
Angella: Hey, I thought we were going to talk about that in another coffee conversation post?
Dean: Oh yeah I forgot, I was getting carried away..haha. Yes I think we should cover that in our next coffee post…well done darling and thanks for honest perspective about Thai women and jealousy I think this is very helpful for Western men.
Angella: No problem, it’s my pleasure and thanks to you to for sharing your thoughts and to everyone reading hope you enjoyed this conversation and got some benefit from it.
Please join us for more coffee conversations about Thai women and Western men relationships.
For me I believe Bangkok is a soft City but here is why….
You know I have been in Bangkok now for just over 3 months and this is my third visit to this City. I don’t profess to be any kind of expert but being married to a Thai woman like Angella and as writer and Artist trained in the art of observation along with my travel experiences and background I think I can form valid observations and insights fairly quickly.
I know there are many of you who have been here a lot longer than I have and may have a different view point but I can only tell it from what I see and experience for myself.
And so far my impressions of Bangkok is that it is a soft City.
Let me clarify that this is a positive thing because what I mean about this is that it is not an angry City. Recently we were having coffee with a Swedish friend over at Starbucks at Ari Station and both he and I agreed that Bangkok is not a harsh City. You don’t feel threatened with your personal safety like in other cities.
For me I grew up in England only a few miles out of South London and can honestly say they are worlds apart as Cities go. That was 20 years ago and since then I have lived in Perth Western Australia which is also a much more relaxed and safer place than London even though over the 20 years I have been there I have seen the sense of safety eroded as sadly I have to say more and more English settle there. But Bkk even in comparison to Perth feels much safer
Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming the English entirely, but as an Englishman I know our culture very well and we do seem to bring with us a certain aggressiveness wherever we go. Current writer excepted of course..(lol)
English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other
So when I compare that to Bangkok I do believe it is a softer city. I have just not seen the displays of aggressiveness, rudeness and indifference that I am used to. Even in other Cities around the world as our Swedish friend will attest to coming from Stockholm and having lived in Bangkok for nearly 10 years. It seems we English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other.
So what about Bangkok then, why does it appear so soft?
Well firstly to every positive there is a negative and as our friend commented and as I am also aware there is a negative underside to Bangkok. You can just as easily get stabbed, mugged or beaten up as in London if you look for it by placing yourself in those places and situations. But what we identified was that it is the Thai culture of passive show that is one of the big reasons for this soft impression along with of course the strong Buddhist culture which promotes passive kindness.
You might upset a Thai but they will not show you aggression or reaction there and then
What our friend explained to me was that you might well upset a Thai but they will not show you any real aggression or reaction there and then. It is simply not their style to do that. It is not accepted and it is not their way…the famous saying of Greng Jai comes into play here also. But beware, because no sooner have you forgotten all about the incident when you will be confronted by their reaction…maybe in a quite alley somewhere or by some other means.
So this means that although Thais do not show too much reaction and aggression as as say the English will it does not mean they will just let it go. But it does seem that unprovoked displays of aggression or personal attacks are not as commonplace as many of our Western Cities and towns. To me it simply does not seem that Thais go looking for trouble and are much more willing to avoid confrontation, especially in public.
No sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi
I am reminded of New Years even which we spent with family at Central World in the middle of Bangkok. Apart from the lovely relaxed mood all evening there was also no sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi. Granted there was a lot of Police around but this would also be the case in Perth and London but you would still see trouble.
I feel that Buddhist culture seems to equip them with a higher level of tolerance and patience as can be seen by the driving and road behavior. I swear that if we put some of these antics back in Australia there would be all sorts of carnage on the roads and not caused by car crashes.
I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure
So this is one of the reasons I have very quickly fallen in love with the place. As a farang I am aware as we all are of how many curious looks and stares we get especially if like me we inhabit areas mostly inhabited by Thai people. Sometimes I feel like an exhibit piece walking down our Soi. But I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure, even when on occasion I have walked back very late at night from watching Soccer at one of the local beer houses.
There seems to be much more connection between people here also. Not the cold alloofness you experience in London and not the indifference displayed in many other Cities. Here they will actually acknowledge you if they have seen you before, even for me a Farang who they cannot really talk to I am warmed by their friendly attention and politeness.
So my impression is that Bangkok is blessed to be a soft City
I thought I would add this post here as it is a very positive article about the experiences I have had with the practice of Tam Buhn in Thailand. I have had a few experiences now and I feel that as a Western man married to a Thai woman I should show respect for her culture and gain an understanding of it to help me in our relationship, so here is one experience I have had.
Luang Phor Jarun is a well respected Thai Monk
Angella had been planning for some time to take me to see the Master monk Luang Phor Jarun. He is quite a well reknown and respected monk who is now into his 80′s……..you can read about him at http://www.jarun.org
So on one Sunday morning we set off to The Abbot, Wat Ambhavan, Promburi District. He only comes out to recieve Tam Buhn twice a day and so we aimed at the morning session which we guessed would be at 11am. However when we arrived we found out that we had missed him that morning but he would be back out again at 2pm. Driving all that way we decided to wait until 2pm and just enjoy exploring around the Abbot as it is a very peaceful place.
the abbot is a place for meditation and I know Angella has often been there sometimes for 3 days or 7 Days to practice Vippissana meditation
In fact the abbot is a place for meditation and I know Angella has often been there sometimes for 3 days or 7 Days to practice Vippissana meditation, the practice of mindfulness meditation. I won’t go into detail here but from what I have learned it involves many hours of meditation and silence and although I also practice meditation I have yet to try this.
A Tarot Card Reader told us there was a possibility of some accidents involving our children!!
The first thing we decided to do was to set some creatures free into the River. By this I mean in particlar turtles and eels that we bought from some sellers at the gates of the Abbot. You see the day before we had been for a tarot card reading with a reader that Angella respects very much and she had told us both that there was possibility of some accidents involving our children. Clearly this is not something we cold ignore and so the practice of setting some creatures free and saying some prayers about our children at the same time is a way of helping to keep them safe.
We took time to chat to a Chinese Monk before the Master came out
So down by the rivers edge we set 2 turtles free, which was really quite funny and cute to watch and some eels also. We then spent some more time wondering the Abbot which included having some lunch that the meditation groups who are there for the 3 day meditation practice would eat (which is all free I might add…not the tastiest but there you go)…We wondered the souveneir type stalls and took some time to chat to a Chinese monk in the temple area before The Master came out.
You could see how well known and respected this monk is as many people began to gather in and around the temple area 30 minutes before 2pm. Many of these people would bear gifts to give to the Monk and many like ourselves would have an envelope with money to present to him in the form of Tam Buhn. This money is a gift and is used by the Monk to do good things with such as build Temples, shelters and other things that can help people.
It seems that dogs have figured out that Temples are a good place to sleep and eat for free!
What is important to understand about these temples is that are in fact a refuge also for people in need. If you have no food or money you can go to a temple and get food for free. You can pray and meditate. One funny note is it seems dogs have figured this one out because there are many dogs hanging around but I don’t know if it was just me but they seemed quite passive and peaceful almost as if the whole Spiritual experience and way of being had influenced their behavior in some way. Not sure if they practiced meditation but many seemed happy sleeping all over the place and when the chimes rang for the hour clock they all started howling!!!
As the time approached 2pm it was amazing to see how many people had gathered and now the temple area was quite full and overflowing. We took off our shoes as is the custom and found a spot to sit and wait for the Monk to appear. When he did it was almost like a celebrity had arrived, he had helpers to help him of course because he is very old and there was a sort of soft gasp from everyone when he came out and sat in the grand chair.
You offer your Tam Buhn gift to create good Karma
As he came out everyone shuffled on their knees closer to him and to be able to see him and then people begin to line up to present their Tam Buhn gift to him. What is important here is to offer the gift with both hands and lifted up to him. The idea is he will bless you for this and use it for good thus creating good karma for you in this life and also the next life.
What impresses me is how this promotes giving and sharing
Eventually we made it to our turn and presented our gifts. It was all over very quickly but there is a sort of reverence and energy you feel when you do this and I must be honest I quite enjoyed it. What impresses me is how this promotes giving and sharing without any real expectation which is very much the Buddhist way.
Next time I will share even more experiences that I have had with the various practices of Thai Buddhist Culture which I feel are good to know if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman.