Another popular Thai Music song ” Jung Wa Hua Jai “

by Bie The Star.

 by Bie Sukrit  Wisetkaew

บี้ The Star – จังหวะหัวใจ – Jung Wa Hua Jai

อยู่ๆใจก็ตึกตั่ก ก็เพราะเธอมันน่ารัก

yoo yoo jai gor teuk tak gor pror ter man naa rak

Suddenly my heart would palpitates, and it’s because you’re so cute.

อยู่ๆกันสักพักอยู่ให้ผมรักๆๆ
yoo yoo gan sak pak yoo hai pom rak rak rak
Being with me for a while, to let me love, love, love.

อยู่ๆก็มาใกล้คงไม่ปล่อยไปง่ายๆ
yoo yoo gor maa glai kong mai  ploi  pai ngaai ngaai
Suddenly you came close to me, and I would probably not let you go easily.

ส่งสัญญาณมาหน่อยเด่ ได้ๆป่าว
song san-yaan maa noi day daai daai  pao
Send a little signal to me, can you?

ลวดลายร้อนแรง เธอแซงได้ทุกคน
luat laai ron raeng ter saeng daai took kon
Rousing demeanor, you overwhelms everyone.

ยิ้มเธอพุ่งชนเข้าทันทีที่พบเจอ
yim ter poong chon kao tan tee tee pop jer
Your smile strikes as soon as one sees it.

โยกทีย้ายทีเล่นเอาใจฉันสั่น
yohk tee yaai tee len ow  jai chan san
The way you moves, it pleases me tremendously.

อุตส่าห์ระวังก็ยังไม่วายชอบเธอ
oot sah ra wang gor yang mai waai chop ter
I tried to be careful but still I can’t help liking you.

แกล้งกันบ่อยๆ ยังนี้คงไม่ปล่อย
glaeng gan boi boi yang nee kong mai ploi
Teased me often, still I may not let you go.

คงต้องลองๆ ต้องคลิกกันดูหน่อย
kong tong long-long tong click gan doo noi
I probably must try, must click with you and see.

รักหรือจะหลอกเดี๋ยวรู้ไม่ต้องบอก
rak reu ja lok dieow roo mai tong bok
Whether you love or decieve me, in a while I’ll know, no need to tell me.

ขอจับใจเธอหน่อยเต้นแรงแค่ไหน
kor jap jai ter noi ten raeng kae nai
Ask to capture your heart a little; how hard does it beats.

มาเล่นให้ใจฉันเต้นแบบนี้ ฉันว่าเธอก็มีอาการใช่ไหม
maa len hai jai chan ten baab nee chan waa ter gor mee ah gaan chai mai
You came to play and let my heart beats like this. I think you also have symptoms too isn’t it?

ใจมันเต้น มันเต้น เป็นจังหวะรัก
jai man ten man ten  pen jung wa rak
My heart beats, it beats as the rhythm of love.

แล้วเธอล่ะอ่ะเต้นจังหวะยังไง
laaw ter la a ten jung wa yang ngai
Then what about you, what rhythm does yours beat?

ทำไมต้องมาอายล่ะ ก็แค่อยากรู้จังหวะ
tam mai tong maa aai la gor kae yaak roo jung wa
Why must you be shy, I only want to know the rhythm.

ไหนขอจับได้ไหมล่ะ ก็แค่ขอจับจังหวะ
nai kor jab daai mai la gor kae kor jap jung wa
Can I capture it? I only ask to capture the rhythm.

What you know I wanna คิดเหมือนกันหรือเปล่าล่ะ
What you know I wanna kid meuan gan reu  plao la
What you know I wanna, do you think like me?

ส่งสัญญาณให้รับทราบได้ๆป่ะ
song san yaan hai rap saap dai dai pa
Send a signal to let me know, can you?

ได้ใจ ได้ใจ รู้ไหมเธอได้ใจ
daai jai daai jai roo mai ter daai jai
Had my heart, had my heart, do you know that you had my heart?

เอาใจฉันไปแบบไม่ทันได้ตั้งตัว
aow jai chan pai baab mai tan daai tang tua
You took my heart away when I’m not ready to prepare myself.

ได้อีก ได้อีก ยังโดนใจได้อีก
daai eek daai eek yang dohn jai daai eek
You still can catch my fancy more.

อย่าปล่อยลีลาลวดลายล่องลอยไม่กลัว
yaa  ploi lee laa luad laai long loi mai glua
Don’t give up your graceful demeanor, I’m not afraid of it floating along.

แกล้งกันบ่อยๆ ยังนี้คงไม่ปล่อย
glaeng gan boi boi yang nee kong mai  ploi
Teased me often, still I may not let you go.

คงต้องลองๆ ต้องคลิกกันดูหน่อย
kong tong long long  tong click gun doo noi
I probably must try, must click with you and see.

รักหรือจะหลอกเดี๋ยวรู้ไม่ต้องบอก
rak reu ja lok dieow roo mai  tong bok
Whether you love or decieve me, in a while I’ll know, no need to tell me.

ขอจับใจเธอหน่อยเต้นแรงแค่ไหน
kor jap jai ter noi  ten raeng kae nai
Ask to capture your heart a little; how hard does it beats.

มาเล่นให้ใจฉันเต้นแบบนี้ ฉันว่าเธอก็มีอาการใช่ไหม
maa len hai jai chan ten baab nee chan waa ter gor mee ah gaan chai mai
You came to play and let my heart beats like this. I think you also have symptoms too isn’t it?

ใจมันเต้น มันเต้น เป็นจังหวะรัก
jai man  ten man  ten  pen jung wa rak
My heart beats, it beats as the rhythm of love.

แล้วเธอล่ะอ่ะเต้นจังหวะยังไง
laaw ter la a ten jung wa yang ngai
Then what about you, what rhythm does yours beat?

(Interlude)

มาเล่นให้ใจฉันเต้นแบบนี้ ฉันว่าเธอก็มีอาการใช่ไหม
maa len hai jai chan  ten baab nee chan waa ter gor mee ah gaan chai mai
You came to play and let my heart beats like this. I think you also have symptoms too isn’t it?

ใจมันเต้น มันเต้น เป็นจังหวะรัก
jai man ten man  ten  pen jung wa rak
My heart beats, it beats as the rhythm of love.

แล้วเธอล่ะอ่ะเต้นจังหวะยังไง
laaw ter la a ten jung wa yang ngai
Then what about you, what rhythm does yours beat?

มาเล่นให้ใจฉันเต้นแบบนี้ ฉันว่าเธอก็มีอาการใช่ไหม
maa len hai jai chan  ten baab nee chan waa ter gor mee ah gaan chai mai
You came to play and let my heart beats like this. I think you also have symptoms too isn’t it?

ใจมันเต้น มันเต้น เป็นจังหวะรัก
jai man ten man ten pen jung wa rak
My heart beats, it beats as the rhythm of love.

แล้วเธอล่ะอ่ะเต้นจังหวะยังไง
laaw ter la a ten jung wa yang ngai
Then what about you, what rhythm does yours beat

2

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I am no expert on Politics in Thailand or for that matter any kind of politics but I do have a keen knowledge and sense of history and having spent a lot of time in Thailand and being married to a Thai woman I can see and feel the massive change that is taking place in that exotically beautiful country.

The disturbing and almost surreal scenes we witnessed only just over a year ago in 2010 of ‘Thai killing Thai‘ certainly set the stage for change and I for one had the inkling that even though those scenes eventually stopped that it would not be the end of it. Of course we know that wasn’t the beginning of it all as there had been previous eruptions of unusual aggression in the country famed for it’s passive and peace loving nature.

But history shows us that once the seeds have been sown they will eventually grow into something more substantial and it seems Thailand’s history like many other countries is being written in front of our very eyes.

What I have found interesting is that only a couple of years ago I was being told to be careful of what I say in Thailand. Even as a Farang, who supports the right to freedom of speech and thought I could find myself in some hot water or even worse if I was not careful. For many Farang it is difficult to conceive the idea that we cannot freely express our opinions and observations whether positive or negative as throughout history we have fought many wars for that right.

It is interesting to witness the changes in attitude of many Thai people who are now beginning to voice a similar objection and express their thoughts, ideas and opinions about their country, their Monarchy and the state of their politics and constitution. This is causing reactions between Thais who hold different views and it doesn’t take much to see that this cause will eventually effect massive change and possibly a Revolution in Thailand.

Usually it takes one empowered leader to stand up and show a passion and commitment for progression of the masses and revolution will surely follow. You might think me being a bit hasty or even excessive using the word Revolution in Thailand but how else would you describe a country that is on the verge of changing old ways that have been bitterly held onto for centuries, to new ways that some are bitterly resisting?

Only recently we are hearing more and more about cases of people being jailed in Thailand for exercising what we call in the West our basic human right of freedom of speech.

The question is just how big will this change be and how fast will it occur. How much resistance will there be from the traditionalists and to what level will force be required to effect the change. We saw last year that the proponents of the change “The red shirts” are prepared to use some force and the resistors “The yellow shirts” are also prepared to use force as well.

However, the difference that we see now is there is a new Thai Government that openly supports the change and so it remains to be seen if this will help in making the change more passive and peaceful without the need for bloodshed and violence we witnessed last year and sadly witness all over the world.

If it is inconceivable we are on the brink of Revolution in Thailand and is it also inconceivable to wonder if it could be achieved peacefully. History tells us not. Yet Thailand is a very passive country by nature and predominantly Buddhist in culture both of which promote peaceful acceptance of change. Could this be the one key element that could allow true democracy in Thailand to evolve without war?

It looks like 2012 could be a very interesting and profound year in the history of Thailand. Let’s hope that they can demonstrate to the world that change can be made without bloodshed.

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It really is just another way for people to meet but online dating is also another way for people to cheat because insincere people see the opportunity to meet people easily online and take advantage of them.

Often this involves sending money and so it is so much easier to scam innocent people and naturally some people are more easily fooled than others. Scammers know this and play on those weaknesses and especially on the emotions of those who are looking for love, desperate to find a love and want someone to share life with.

Online dating and Thai Girls

Apart from advising many people in relationships with Thai women I also have experience about the online dating industry, not least of which is my own experience of meeting my husband online although we met on a normal social network site rather than a dating site.

If you have read any of my other posts on my other site http://www.eastwestromanceonline.com you will know that I really do recommend that you meet in person as soon as possible after meeting online and deciding that you have what you think might be real feelings for each other.

One of the issues that does come up a lot in my role as Thai Girlfirend Advisor is the issue of supporting your Thai Girlfriend financially and my advice is always that one meeting for a few days is not enough to make the decision to begin to support her. If you don’t know her family, if you don’t know where she lives, where she works and was she married or maybe she is still a married woman then you need to take more time to find out if she is genuine or not.

To try and give it some sort of perspective imagine If you meet a woman in your own country for a date one time or even twice would you ask her to move in with you and support her financially?

In the words of Phil Collins “Don’t hurry love”

I often get emails from Western men who want to check with me about their Thai Girlfriend who they are supporting financially and who are constantly needing more financial support. What they always want to know of course is ” Is she after my money ?, Does she really love me or just my money, Can I trust her? “ etc etc.

I am a very positive woman who always looks for the best in people and especially my own country but to be honest if a Thai girl is always telling you about her money problems and looking for financial support from you then this is probably not real love and she may well be looking for an easy ticket.

The reason I say this is because I believe the more genuine way is that people will try to sort their own problems out…they will be more up front more direct and honest. Yes they may tell you about their problems because they don’t want to hide anything but they won’t expect or create the expectation for you to be constantly having to solve their financial problems….and also their families financial problems which is something you hear a lot of with Thai girls who are not so genuine.

Think about this.

When we first meet…we want to show our good side. We don’t want to always bring burden to the other person if we really have strong feelings of love for them. So why would someone constantly go on and on about all their financial problems so soon after meeting if they wanted a genuine relationship?

Because we always fear to begin with in a relationship, we fear we might lose that person if we always go on about our problems, debts family etc and expect to get help in that way…it’s called baggage….and Jerry Springer ( American Program)  has a whole program dedicated to it!

But my Thai girlfriend didn’t actually ask for money

Yes I hear many men say ‘oh she didn’t actually ask me for money‘…….but remember there are ways to create guilt feelings and create obligation rather than ask directly…this is a psychological game. But if a person is constantly coming up with problems…like I don’t have my own computer to chat with you, someone in family is sick, I have a debt to pay, education fees…. or I can’t pay for visa application to come to your country…or passport..or I don’t have the right clothes etc.  Then you must be honest and look at it clearly does she really love you or just want a meal ticket.

A question to ask yourself if you find you are in this situation is what will happen If you do not provide money to her…..what will  she do?  Will she stay with you or will she go?

And does your own fear then kick in and begin to make excuses for her? Because you know she may not come or she may go with other if you do not pay and so you panic because you let your passion take over. Maybe this is not so much wrong but where will it get you in the end?

If you met a woman in a western country who acted in this way what would you think?

Back to Online Dating

Getting back to the Online dating game and just to balance the scales a little there is a flip side

I have known some Thai women who have been taken advantage of by Farang men asking for money. Nigerian scammers..posing as white Farang from England or America are also a big problem online and many women are seduced into believing everything they say, the sweet words and promises of love and a beautiful life…if only they can help them with a business problem they have then a beautiful life is promised for both! Many of these men use other people’s photos and profiles to make you fall in love with them as well.

As always it is important that you do not become so blinded with love or lust that you fail to see the reality in situations. I know it is hard sometimes and I myself am a big supporter of love, forgiveness and loving kindness but sadly some will take advantage of this in others.

Read my article about dating Thai Bar girls

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Recently I wrote an article with Dean about remarriage after divorce which I feel is a very important subject for many reasons.  Of course it is something I am familiar with in my own relationship but also with other people I know and also clients that I advise. The main point I believe is pertinent between Western men and Thai women who enter marriage after divorce is how people often try to make their new partner fit the void left by their old partner. This is especially true of older Western men who have a tendency to marry younger Thai women and have an expectation that they will fit perfectly into their existing life in a new country. When I say this I don’t wish to be judgmental or point the finger, it is simply that I have seen this many times and would love to provide some perspective on this issue in the hope of helping others and if you have read other posts on this site you will know that even though I am a Thai woman I always try to give honest and open perspectives from both sides. With the case of Thai women it is often because they can appear quite subservient in nature and indeed our culture has a strong desire to please and serve as well as a respect for our elders which is quite appealing to older Western men who perhaps feel that Western women have lost their sense of femininity through the push for equal rights. The danger I see here is one of control and expectation meaning that a Western man may feel because he is bringing a younger Thai woman to live in his country and in many cases giving her a better standard of living he will feel he is in charge and that she must fit into his existing life, perhaps filling the gap left by his previous wife…but without the hassle of course!

This is sometimes sadly at the expense of taking the view of creating a new life together!

Additionally, cultural differences and communication difficulties because of language can make this situation worse because of misunderstandings and the frustration of not being able to communicate effectively the wants and needs of both sides. But I feel that many Western men would in fact be quite willing to listen and adapt if things can be communicated to them effectively and Thai women happy to accommodate their mans needs if they knew exactly what was expected of them fairly because I actually feel they are a good mix.

Often our strengths can be our weakness and our weaknesses our strength if only we can recognize the difference.

As I said I do see a positive side to  relationships between Western men and Thai women and that is in fact the mix and balance between the two cultures is very good. Especially I have noticed between Australian men and Thai women because the lifestyle attitude of Australian men seems to fit very neatly with the culture attitude of Thai women. What I mean by this is that the Australian lifestyle is very much one of community, racial harmony, classless society, food and family connection and this fits very well with a Thai woman’s background and culture of family closeness and the desire to serve especially of course with food which is always the primary Thai way of giving and sharing. So what I believe is that for remarriage after divorce between Western men and Thai women taking the view of creating a new life together and clear understanding of both wants and needs are essential.

Read about the process of Marriage to a Thai National

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Maybe I should title this post “When dating a Thai bar girl…if you can’t stand the heat better get out of the kitchen” because I have seen first hand and read many true stories about Farang who meet a Thai bar girl, begin a relationship with her and then find their life turned upside down by the consistent insecurity of a relationship of this sort.

I don’t want you to get me wrong here, I’m not here to judge. If you want have a serious relationship with a Thai bar girl then that is your choice and we all have free choice and in fact I know of one case where it is successful, at least for now, so I’m not even saying you should not do it.

I think if we look at this in perspective there are a lot of stories out there but much of it is very negative and from a purely Western point of view and always from guys who have been stung. Sadly there are some pretty harsh and bitter comments thrown around about Thai girls and whilst I am not saying that some of those girls are not deserving of them there is always more than one side to a story.

There is perhaps a need for Western men to take some responsibility for their actions

I’m also not saying that the guys who get burned in these relationship have no right to feel hurt, of course they do, just as you can have the right to feel hurt if you are cheated by a Western girl. The point is however that when you enter into a relationship with Thai bar girl you automatically accept a particular set of circumstances which you may well not be able to control and change and if the case turns out you cannot change them and you get hurt in the process then their is a certain amount of personal responsibility you need to take with that.

How many cases are there where a Farang guy was forced into a relationship with a Thai Bar Girl?

This is an important point because mostly Western guys go happily into the fire with a Thai Bar Girl and end up getting burnt which begs the question who’s fault is it really?. I have witnessed cases where Farang make promises of financial support, building houses, presents and all manners of things to Bar Girls in the hope they will give up their work and be exclusive to them.

To look at this with true perspective we have to ask “What did they really expect?”

On the other hand we also have to ask “Is love blind“? Have you ever been so in love, or so desperately obsessed, infatuated with a woman before? If the answer is yes or even a little yes (now think back to those school boy crushes ) then follow that train of thought and feeling and you will be closer to why some men become so seemingly weak and helpless in these situations

Sure the reality check is it’s easy for men to be flattered and  tempted by pretty and petite women 15 or 2o years the younger paying you all manners of compliments while extracting your money with a lovely smile. It’s sweet poison really. But what makes a man continue to chase security from a woman who’s lifestyle is nothing short of the complete opposite? Is it hope or ego thinking he can change her.

Thai Bar Girls…… it’s sweet poison really

Actually to confess I do know of at least one case like this that has so far met with success but the circumstances are favorable in as much as he is able to travel a lot to see her and keep an eye on her. This maybe makes a difference but for many others there is not that luxury. They have to make do with a visit to Thailand now and then and the rest of the time spent wondering what is going on.

If it is just about sex why try to make a serious relationship out of it?

Perhaps these men can be labelled as love sick fools but surprisingly I happen to know many of these men are intelligent with good income and even high level jobs. Perhaps it is just about sex with a much younger pretty woman but surely if it was just about sex then why not just get a new girl each time you go to Thailand? Let’s face it we know that is not too difficult if you visit the right places.

What makes this even more perplexing is that as intelligent as these men might appear to be and armed with the knowledge that their girlfriend really is working or has worked in bars they still continue to worry, to complain and to pine over feelings of insecurity. Is she cheating me, does she really love me, will she stop working in bars, will she stay with me after I build her that house and the list goes on.

We often only see and believe what we want to see and believe

At the end of the day there seems to be very little logic to it which leaves us with the statement that if you really must follow this path then you at some point have to engage your intelligence and accept the rollercoaster of emotions that will accompany a relationship of this nature.

As for the girls well sure some may well be heartless but many really know no different, they come from a completely different background and culture than us Farang and so we must be careful not to try and judge by our standards alone. I am sure when and if the shoe is on the other foot we would have much to say about it and as we have already pointed out…it isn’t exactly entirely their fault is it?

Read more about Thai Bar girls

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In dealing with many of my Western clients who are in relationships with Thai women and want to know more about understanding Thai women I have learned that Language differences will always be an issue in relationships between Western men and Thai women. The fact is there are very few Thai women who can speak English really well. Most have barely passable English and many can speak a little English but cannot write it.

Unlike some other Asian countries Thailand has only recently started to promote learning English as a second language. They do now teach English in schools but there is still a long way to go before we will see Thai people using English easily and fluently whether in Thailand or overseas. If you have ever been to Thailand for any length of time you would have noticed that apart from the tourist areas Thai people do not know very much English at all and even the tourist areas it is spoken only to engage the basics with tourists.

Careful with some Thai Girls who speak good English!

One thing I am careful with when I deal with my clients is that if they meet a Thai woman who speaks good English this can mean she has spent time in the tourist areas like Phuket or Pattaya and this can mean she has been working as a bar girl. The same can apply for girls in Bangkok but being such a large City there can be many more reasons for a Thai woman being able to speak some English if she lives in Bangkok. I always advise to use your good judgement here and notice where you met her, her look and behavior.

Even if your Thai girlfriend can speak some English you will find that communication between you will be difficult and misunderstandings are easy to arise. This is one area I have found to be very sensitive even in my own relationship and being able to speak reasonable English. There are so many words in the English language and so many words can mean basically the same thing but with a small difference. Some words are very similar but can mean good or bad depending how and when you use them and trying to understand all the tenses in English is complicated.

So what this means for you if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman is that you will need to be mindful about your language and give the benefit of the doubt if she says something that might seem offensive. I always feel it is sometimes so frustrating when I want to explain something deeper or complicated in English but cannot find the right words to use, if I could say it in Thai there would be no problem and you would understand straight away but in English I must be careful that it does not come out all wrong.

I have said before it takes time, effort and patience in these relationships and it really does because you will both want to be able to speak openly and honestly to each other but the language difference will always make it difficult to truly understand each other with just words. You will also need to trust your intuition and your feelings as well as each other.

Understanding Thai women is not just about understanding her culture but also understanding your own language and how she will need to interact with it.

Read more articles on understanding Thai women

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One of the things about our Thai culture that I know can seem confusing to many Westerners (Farang) when they spend some time in Thailand is our practice of “Wai”. Just in case you are not sure what this is it is when we put our hands together in what you would call a prayer position and seem to pray to any Temple, Buddha statue or even buildings. It is also what we use to say “Sawasdee” or Hello. I hear many Farang ask “Why does my Thai Girlfriend” do this all the time so I will try to explain “Why we Wai” all the time. First though I would ask that you try not to compare our various cultures to your Western concepts of religion. To us although this may seem like a religious practice it really has nothing to do with religion or God. Also please understand I don’y say that our culture is any better or there is any right or wrong, I just want to give you a Thai perspective that you will hopefully understand better our culture.

Really I think we could say that the practice of “Wai” in our culture is a mixture of Cultural habit or tradition, Social conditioning and some Thai National doctrines as well as Buddhism, which of course is not so much of a religion as more of a philosophy or a way of living and being. You may well have noticed that Thai people from all walks of life will stop and ‘wai’ at various places such as any statues or figures of Buddha, Temples with Buddha, other types of shrines, pictures and anything to do with the Thai King and also previous Thai Kings and a few other places as well. Sometimes we may stop and kneel and seem to say a small prayer and other times we will simply “wai” in passing. When we are more serious about ‘wai’ I am sure you have all seen us burning incense sticks and presenting all types of gifts and flowers at various shrines and Temples and other Holy Places as well as the simple small shrines you can see almost everywhere on the streets of Thailand.

So let me try to explain a few things for you here about this Thai Culture

The practice of “wai” is more often to do with showing respect than it is praying to anything in particular and it is also done through more concern of what will happen if we don’t. This is not to be confused with the traditional Western view of a “God” or some other Holy being that will punish you if you do not pray or do good things. In Thai culture we believe that by showing respect to such things that we cannot see but believe to be there, such as spirits, then we can avoid any bad thing happening to us like an accident or some sort of misfortune.

The truth is that much of this is almost socially and culturally habitual and works almost like the 100 monkey effect rather than a strict doctrine or rule of being Thai. If you ask many Thai people how they know to do this they will simply say “I don’t know, we just do”. Although some of this is taught in Thai schools it really is just something we do as Thai people.

This is why I say there is a mixture of reasons behind it all..

“Faith and Belief  are sometimes  taken automatically  from our culture  without question”

Let me show you something….an example that might make it clear for you….

Imagine there is a very old tree, let’s say well over 100 years old in a park. ..I could go and buy 3 silk colored scarves pink, yellow and green to respect the tree with and  carefully tie them around the tree trunk. Then I could ‘wai’ with 9 incense sticks placed into the ground under the tree and also some ” pung ma lai ”  ( Garland) because these are symbols that have meaning in Thai culture.  That’s it… finished and I just leave everything there with the tree. ……..Do you know what would happen?…….. Thai people passing who see this will begin to ‘wai’ as they pass and some will also kneel and ‘wai’ to the tree , even though they don’t know the story of that tree it’s because they see and know the meaning of symbols. Eventually this tree will become a regular place to ‘wai’ and bare gifts to because the belief will grow that there is something Holy about this tree as more symbols are placed there and so rather than pass it without any concern Thai people will ‘wai’ as a sign of respect”………  Even I would do the same.

I know it may seem a little strange to Farang but that is the belief system we have in our Thai culture. This is why you may see some shrines at the front of houses or in the corners of buildings. they may just be to honor deceased people and so everyone passing will ‘wai’ even if only for a quick second. You can see that it is almost automatic.

To put it into a Western perspective you could say that Thai Culture is quite Superstitious.

Now something to consider here is that it doesn’t take only good Thai people to do this. It is not exclusive to good people, Buddhists or anything like that. A criminal who has just killed someone is just as likely to stop and ‘wai’ at some shrine as is a person of good. Thai TV and film also have humor about this when sometimes they show criminals trying to escape from police running down backstreets but stopping to ‘wai’ when they pass a statue of Buddha.

It is for this reason that I know some Farang men get confused if they have become embroiled with  Thai bar girls or Thai girls who have cheated them because they can’t separate the western view of people who practice religion as only being good from the Thai culture of ‘wai’. So they think if their Thai girlfriend ‘wai’ all the time then surely she must be a good person and would not cheat them. But as you can see this is not the case and some can ‘wai’ and then quite easily cheat you for money the next moment.

Thai Culture, Wai, The Buddhist way and Monks

Something I have not really mentioned here is “Thai Monks”. There are 2 very real doctrines that Thai Culture does impose and one is that we must always show respect to Thai Kings and the other is the respect we show to Monks.

Of course the practice of being a monk comes from Buddhism and Buddha and being a Thai monk is more of a religious practice because they must follow quite strict way of life as laid down by the doctrines of Buddism. Because of this Thai people will always show respect in many ways to Monks similar in the way that Western people might show respect to a priest.

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Discussing the whole issue of Western men being ensnared by Thai Bar girls is a sensitive subject. Let me be clear that I am not here to judge who is right or wrong , I neither support nor condemn. I am just here to share my perspective from my experience of consulting and hearing many sad stories.

To be honest here at TGA we post on various websites about this and it causes no end of controversy but I feel it is important to talk about this openly and so in this post I want to provide a sensitive but honest perspective of what we see from various clients and also with the insight of  a Thai woman who has the opportunity to see it from both sides.

You know the truth is that Thailand has many beautiful things, we have amazing Temples, beautiful palaces, wonderful food, unique culture , friendly people and as many people say we are the land of smiles. But just like any country there will always be a dark side…a negative to the positives and this issue is one of ours but in truth although it gets a lot of attention it really is only a very small part of our society.

Let me clarify that I am talking specifically about “ Thai Bar girls ” or the type of  Thai girls that tend to make some kind of  living from the gratuity of  Western men visiting  Thailand. I am well aware that there is a further set of Thai girls who are more subtle in this behavior and some who might be classed as normal Thai Girls but are really nothing more than Gold Diggers.

I recently told a client that one of the biggest problems I see for Western men when they get involved with Thai bar girls is that they choose only to believe what they want to believe and see what they want to see.

Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying that it is their fault and that some of those Thai bar girls have no blame but from what I see the girls are doing a job and the men deep down know that but for many reasons choose not to accept it or admit the real truth. I am not saying it could never be possible for a girl to give up the bar work and change her ways for the love of a good honest man but I do think you have to be crystal clear about what would be involved here and that the chances of that happening are low and the risk of men getting hurt either emotionally or financially or in most cases both are high.

A while ago we posted an article written by Dean called “If you keep a crocodile as a pet you must understand it’s nature” which I have always believed is an excellent perspective on this subject and one that I recommend any Farang involved with a Thai Bar girl type to read because it gives you the right way to think about this type of relationship.

In fact it’s very good marketing…..tell the client what they want to hear…

or sell them what they want to buy!

My point here is that I see many Western men who are well aware of what their new found love is involved with, even to the point where they have had them spied on and caught in the act of cheating on them with another man. But to be honest can we really call this cheating when in fact she is just doing her job and her job is to serve you whatever you want, to make you happy, to make you feel good, to make you feel special , something you can not  get from home and that is the point when you are happy to spend your money, enjoy to spend your time with her  and want to come back to see her again….

NOW YOU ARE  HOOKED!…..  and the problem is that her job will make her tell you exactly what you want to hear and if what you want to hear is  …” You are handsome, you look younger than your age, you look kind and warm to be with,there is no one like you, you are her special love, her real boyfriend “.. blah..blah..blah…… Then that is what she will tell you. In fact it’s very good marketing…..tell the client what they want to hear… sell them what they want to buy!….and that is how she get’s what she wants.

So here is some Advice for Western men who get involved with a Thai Bar Girl.

Just like the crocodile post says. If you really must get involved with a girl like this, if you feel you just cannot do without her then make sure your eyes are open and you are aware of what you are dealing with. Whether you feel you can change the life of a Thai Bar Girl or not is not the issue because for someone to change like that requires a lot of personal work as well as very strong support from a loving partner who can forgive and forget the past because mistrust due to her past will be a major issue.

The issue for Western men is can you accept the results of your choices and actions. If at the end of the day she does cheat on you, she does leave you for a better deal, if she does break your heart and your bank account will you accept that it was as much your choice as it was her job? Will you then become negative to all Thai women and paint them with the same brush?…I hope not!

In another post on this subject I will share some insights from the Thai Bar Girl side…so keep a look out for that

Sawasdee Ka and Chok Dee

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Even though this article is not exactly about relationships between Thai women and Western men it most certainly applies to them as well as all relationships. We both heard this statement by someone else but it struck such a chord with us because it is what we both believe to be true and very very powerful and so we gave it the status of being a Master Key to a Successful Relationship and decided to write about it.

I hope you really enjoy the article which you can read here at this link: http://www.eastwestromanceonline.com/the-master-key-to-a-successful-relationship/

Please leave a comment about what you think either here or at the site…

Sawasdee ka for now!

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Learn more on how to speak Thai with this video

http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/enjoy-learning-thai-language/

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