Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Category: Understanding Thai women

Understanding Thai women & English language issues

Understanding Thai women & English language issues is very important.

In dealing with many of my Western clients who are in relationships with Thai women and want to know more about understanding Thai women I have learned that Language differences will always be an issue in relationships between Western men and Thai women. The fact is there are very few Thai women who can speak English really well. Most have barely passable English and many can speak a little English but cannot write it.

Understanding Thai women with Thai Girlfriend Advisor Angella and DeanUnlike some other Asian countries Thailand has only recently started to promote learning English as a second language. They do now teach English in schools but there is still a long way to go before we will see Thai people using English easily and fluently whether in Thailand or overseas. If you have ever been to Thailand for any length of time you would have noticed that apart from the tourist areas Thai people do not know very much English at all and even the tourist areas it is spoken only to engage the basics with tourists.

Careful with some Thai Girls who speak good English!

One thing I am careful with when I deal with my clients is that if they meet a Thai woman who speaks good English this can mean she has spent time in the tourist areas like Phuket or Pattaya and this can mean she has been working as a bar girl. The same can apply for girls in Bangkok but being such a large City there can be many more reasons for a Thai woman being able to speak some English if she lives in Bangkok. I always advise to use your good judgement here and notice where you met her, her look and behavior.

Even if your Thai girlfriend can speak some English you will find that communication between you will be difficult and misunderstandings are easy to arise. This is one area I have found to be very sensitive even in my own relationship and being able to speak reasonable English. There are so many words in the English language and so many words can mean basically the same thing but with a small difference. Some words are very similar but can mean good or bad depending how and when you use them and trying to understand all the tenses in English is complicated.

So what this means for you if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman is that you will need to be mindful about your language and give the benefit of the doubt if she says something that might seem offensive. I always feel it is sometimes so frustrating when I want to explain something deeper or complicated in English but cannot find the right words to use, if I could say it in Thai there would be no problem and you would understand straight away but in English I must be careful that it does not come out all wrong.

I have said before it takes time, effort and patience in these relationships and it really does because you will both want to be able to speak openly and honestly to each other but the language difference will always make it difficult to truly understand each other with just words. You will also need to trust your intuition and your feelings as well as each other.

Understanding Thai women is not just about understanding her culture but also understanding your own language and how she will need to interact with it.

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Understanding Thai women – My Thai girlfriend is so jealous!

Many western men comment on how jealous their Thai girlfriends and Thai wives can be.

So let me  share with you some insight’s on what seems like jealousy or paranoia on the part of Thai women is embedded deep in Thai culture.

Firstly I don’t want you to think that this is just an attack on Thai men because really they are only just a victim to years of Thai culture as well so we must be careful not to lay blame in only one place  . To Thai men I ask you to consider if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel..really try to put yourself in the same position as what I am about to tell you.

The simple fact is that Thai culture and  Thai society has allowed the behavior of Thai men to have more than one wife.

Even though today it is frowned upon and the cause of such a high percentage of relationship and marital problems between Thai men and Thai women it still happens but it is not just as straight forward as a man being allowed to have two wives, it is a little more complicated than that.

One of the issues in Thailand is that it is not really neccessary to get a registered marriage, very often the traditional Thai wedding ceremony performed in front of your family and social circle is enough to say you are married. Basically in the eyes of everyone you are married.

Traditional Thai marriage ceremony

For a marriage to be legal in Thailand it must be registered at a District office and a marriage certificate issued. Many Thai men do not like to sign these papers for one reason or another, many feel it is a waste of time and cannot be bothered. Also the parents of both parties are not able to insist upon it and so it goes unregistered.

Thai marriage certificate

This very often is the case in a first marriage when the couple are very young with love stars in their eyes. They will only have a traditional Thai wedding ceremony and not bother with registration at a district office. Over the years the wife will do many things to support her husband and family helping him with business and all sorts of things and then one day the man will take a mistress/girlfriend and this is where the problems begin.

They may well have been married for 10 years or even more but there is no legal document to say so. But when the new Thai girlfriend gets her claws into the man very often he will feel pressured to marry her and get it registered and she then has all the rights in the eyes of the law leaving the primary Thai wife with little rights to anything. I have seen many court cases and heard many stories of this over the years.

Of course this sort of thing only really happens in the larger Cities in Thailand where there is property and assets at stake.

  • This is just one issue, because here is another problem.

In the more affluent Thai society it is all too common for many Thai men to take a girlfriend even though they are married. If they can afford it they will keep this going for years happily supporting both. One of the things in Thailand is the wearing of rings is not so readily practiced like the West and so it is often difficult to tell if someone is married or not.

‘Quite often when you see an older Thai man with a younger Thai woman it is very likely his Thai girlfriend and not his Thai wife’

Tekgor Nakornpathom
Tekgor Nakornpathom

In contrast though, there is a true story of a man ( Tekgor) who lives on the outskirts of Bangkok who has 7 wives and 22 children they all live together quite happily. He was interviewed on Television one time and was asked how he could keep such harmony in his household with 7 wives and 22 children.

So this leads me to the point of why Thai women can often seem paranoid or over jealous

When you put yourself in this situation as I mentioned it is easy to understand why. I do not blame men because it is Thai culture and Thai marriage law that allows this to occur and until something is done about it then it will continue.

Although this might seem like a negative perspective it is a fact of Thai culture and if you are a western man then I feel it will help give you a little more understanding of your Thai girlfriend or Thai wife if sometimes she has difficulty in believing you are monogamous. Monogamy is in fact one of the reasons Thai women have become interested in Western men as it is portrayed that Western men place much more value on being a ‘one woman man”.

I hope this help you understand more about Thai women.

With love hope and solutions

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Understanding Thai women – misunderstandings

Language differences can cause misunderstanding with Thai women

Through experience I have come to realize how important misunderstandings in Intercultural relationships really are and in particular between Western men and Thai women. If you are a Western man with a Thai girlfriend or a Thai wife then this article is for you to give you some tips to help you understand Thai women.

But let me give you a word of caution although some of my tips sound simple they are not always easy to carry out…but they are effective and if you can find yourself trying them I feel sure it well help you greatly in your relationship with Thai women. I will talk about 1 tip here and then give others in more articles. In his famous book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venusauthor John Gray talks about how men and women really talk a different language. When a woman says one thing the man actually believes she means something different and vice verca. So imagine how more complicated this issue becomes when you throw in the mix of an intercultural relationship between Thai women and Western men. Wow…now that’s a recipe for some misunderstandings for sure!!

My First Tip to help understand Thai women

My first tip is to not react negatively too quickly to your Thai woman, Thai girlfriend or Thai wife when she is trying to explain something. Now I know this sounds simple but sometimes our emotions and ego’s can get in our way and not always make us have the patience we need. What I hope you can understand is that sometimes for Thai women we are not able to express ourselves well enough in English. This can be very frustrating and sometimes that frustration can simply overwhelm us. I know that sometimes I get so frustrated with myself at not being able to explain something to my husband, I just can’t seem to help him understand what I mean because I cannot find the right words or I use the wrong words. Sometimes this can make me go quiet and this can then frustrate him. This just boils down to a lack of vocabulary and so that is why I say if you can just be patient with us and not react too quickly when we fail to find the words quick enough to explain or express ourselves it will help greatly. Try to be patient and encourage us to to explain, just take a little time for us to get it right or find the right words. Very often I use my dictionary to find the words and we work it out that way. Sometimes I also know that I may use the wrong words and this can cause misunderstanding too. So if you think your Thai woman is saying something strange, hurtful or stupid remember it may be her lack of knowledge on what words to use and when. So as I said, this tip sounds simple but can be a challenge at times especially in a heated situation but patience, understanding and a positive approach will always get great results.

Look out for my next tip to help you in understanding Thai women.

Read this post for some facts to consider when thinking about marrying your Thai Girlfriend


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