Thai Girlfriend Advisor

Relationship advice for Western Men and Thai Women

Author: Angella (Page 4 of 13)

Case Study – Online Thai Girlfriend cheats American guy

This case study shows how an online Thai Girlfriend can cheat a man and break his heart.

Although I am Thai I am very aware of how heartless some Thai women can be and how they can easily play cruel and unfair games with some men, especially when the relationship is online and they have never met in person.

Neil lives in the USA and he first came to me with an email saying that for many months he had been having an online relationship with a beautiful Thai girlfriend. They had both said they felt deep love for each other. He had already planned to leave the US and move to Thailand. He wasn’t a rich man but he was now making arrangements to move closer to where his Thai Girlfriend lived near Bangkok.

However he explained that she had recently said she might not have time for a relationship due to an accident her father had and before he even had time to console her the next day he saw she had changed her status on her facebook profile. Neil was confused because he felt they had a genuine relationship, he had seen inside her home on webcam and even her family too so this came as a sudden shock.

She had deleted him from her facebook

Neil then managed to speak to her on skype and she insisted she did not change it and there was no problem between them but then the next day she had deleted him from her facebook. On checking he noticed she was still on her friends facebook, just not his anymore and her status was still set to single. The whole thing seemed so strange and so he tried to translate many messages on her facebook page that she had posted in Thai. In case you don’t know Thai does not translate well into English and he could not really make any sense of it.

So confused and unsure he came for my advice as Thai Girlfriend Advisor

 

He asked me if I could access her facebook profile to read some comments on there. The problem was he really didn’t want to believe the worst and hoped to God it was just a mistake and a big misunderstanding on his part. With what he had already explained in a few emails I did fear the worst but said little to him about that at this point until I could check.

Sadly the news was not good for Neil

I then screened her facebook profile and sadly the news was not good for Neil. His Thai girlfriend or now ex: Thai girlfriend openly used very low class type language on her profile and joking with her friends revealed that she was getting fed up with the American and would prefer to taste European now.

At first I advised Neil that he should perhaps just wait about his plans for Thailand and try to sort it out, the news was not good for him. Obviously he wanted to know what she had said and so eventually I told him which made me sad because I knew it would hurt Neil. It is so very difficult to tell someone something like that and I really felt Neil was a genuine guy.

Maybe what I told him had saved him in the long run

Neil was quite for many days and did not respond to me again until about a week or so later he wrote to me saying he had broken things off and although it hurt that maybe what I told him had saved him in the long run. He felt he would not love again for some time though!

I can tell you that this is not easy work for me to do because I feel for people when they hurt like that but I hope that I have helped Neil avoid even greater pain and suffering later on had he continued with that relationship. It hurts me to see how some Thai women can be and sometimes I feel like giving up with it all….but I know sometimes helping people is not always comfortable.

In time Neil will heal his heart and hopefully find a genuine Thai woman to love.

So if you are in a relationship with a Thai woman or online relationship and if possible it is worth checking out your Thai girlfriend before you make any serious plans and commitments with her.

 

No one perfect and don’t think every Thai women are bad or willing to cheat you. But if you feel  confuse or you have an inkling that something not right with your relationship. Remember every problem have solutions and I am always here to consult you if you have any problems like this.


You can check my cost’s here: http://www.thaigirlfriendadvisor.com/costs/

 


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Understanding jealousy

Jealousy and Thai women in some more depth.

Before I do let’s understand and be clear that jealousy is an emotion that affects everyone not just Thai women. As the Thai Girlfriend Advisor though it is my job to talk about it from a Thai perspective and I do admit that Thai women are prone to jealousy for some cultural reasons which I have raised in another post and will refer to in this post.

See my other post: Understanding Thai women – My Thai girlfriend is so jealous

Although jealousy is often given a negative label it is a natural and necessary emotion, otherwise we humans would not come equipped with it. It is only when it becomes obsessive, unreasonable and paranoid that it ceases to serve us in any good way and becomes destructive.

Consider for a moment relationships without any jealousy…do you really think we could love each other that way?

When we love someone we don’t want to share them with anyone because we want to be the sole object of their affections. We want to be the special one that their universe revolves around. So sometimes jealousy comes from a  positive emotion and that is love. But everything has two sides as many universal laws confirm and so there is negative and positive to jealousy.

The positive side to jealousy is that it means someone loves us and that we love someone. If you are the object of reasonable jealousy because perhaps you seem to be paying someone else the attention your lover seeks then this can be seen as a positive jealousy.

If your lover responds with:

“yes darling I do feel a bit jealous at how you were laughing and joking so much with that woman and she is very attractive and I know you love me but I can’t help wanting you to myself. I know you are free to talk to anyone you wish and I do trust you..but I love you but it’s ok I am not angry”

Is there anything wrong with this?

As I said to begin with jealousy is not exclusive to Thai women but does appear often in relationships with Thai women whether with Farang or Thai and this is because our social conditioning plays a role in many of our belief systems which in turn create our emotions and so when we look at Thai women we do see that cultural and social conditions have shaped them just like they do in other cultures.

In addition to the historical cultural behavior of Thai men and their “Mia Noi’s” which I talk about in my other post another influence that shape Thai women’s belief systems about jealousy are that there are proportionately more women to men in Thailand an ever increasing number of which are gay.

There are proportionately more women to men in Thailand an ever increasing number of which are gay. Other men enter religious practices and become monks and some join the army.

I have no doubt some of you might think this seems like a ridiculous reason but for women in Thailand it is actually very real dilemma sometimes. Finding an eligible man is not always easy and so when they find one they have a very real fear that another women, whether a Mia Noi or not will take his interest.

I know that many Western men have the view that this jealousy is caused by issues regarding money and I will discuss that in another post.

For now I hope that the perspectives I present can help in understanding the issues concerning Thai women and jealousy. Remember this information should be used to improve your understanding in a relationship with a Thai woman and not to be used as an excuse against her.

With Love, Hope and Solutions


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What do successful Thai/Farang relationships do that the failures don’t

It’s no secret that many relationships between Farang men and Thai women fail. Some fail before marriage and some fail soon after marriage. Are the causes of these failures the same as same culture relationships or is there something between East and West cultures that causes the problem.

And more important is…what do the successful relationships between Farang men and Thai women do different?

My recent post on Thailand Musings I talk about this very subject and ask the question of the readers there with some very interesting responses.

Here is the post:

http://thailandmusings.thaivisa.com/what-do-successful-thai-and-farang-relationships-do-differently-from-the-ones-that-fail/#comments

When I read the comments on that post which are largely from a Farang male perspective I see that communication does play a very big part in either the success or break down of intercultural relationships between a Thai woman and a Western man. As I said in the article I also read on a recent website in Thailand that this was the cause of close to 50% of all marriage failures between Thai and West.

I know that when I talk with many Thai women about the prospect of a relationship with a Farang male one of their biggest worries is exactly that…”Communication”. It is clear that we can say in these intercultural relationships that the language is always going to be an issue. I only have to look at my own relationship to confirm that and I would say that we have a very good level of communication, but we still have misunderstandings due to language.

So it is no surprise then that if a couple not only have a language obstacle but also do not have such a good desire or knowledge to communicate with each other the problems can be much larger and potentially cause eventual break down of the relationship. My guess with this is that both parties will be left confused and angry and without a very clear understanding of what actually happened.

Another thing I found interesting from many comments is that the age gap between the Thai women and many of the Farang who commented was quite high. I have always thought that a larger age gap has more potential for problems and for many reasons. This is only my opinion of course.

So what we can learn from this is that it is very important to focus on communication in any relationship but maybe it is even more important in Intercultural relationships with different languages, like Thai women and Farang men. The question is then what exactly does it take.

What I notice is that many of the comments from those who say they have a successful relationship express a very profound love for each other. They also seem to have have a willingness to learn not just about the other person but about culture, themselves and life.

I will write more on this subject in future posts to try and give some very real and useful advice on what you can use in these relationships to make them successful.

Here is the post at Thailand Musings again:

http://thailandmusings.thaivisa.com/what-do-successful-thai-and-farang-relationships-do-differently-from-the-ones-that-fail/#comments

Sawasdee for now


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Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective – ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa Column


This article on my weekly column at ThailandMusings.ThaiVisa talks about “Trust and Honesty from a Thai perspective” and uses a simple story about Mr Chokdee to illustrate how Thai culture can be very complex.

The article raises many questions and is not meant to answer them all, I just want to show Western people a condition that happens in our society as it is one of the cause of many issues with Thai people but this is our culture and what we are used to it., maybe it seem strange for western and we may not support or agree with it but we do have to live with it.

There are many interesting reactions to this post in the comments section and I think this helps us see the different perspectives from different cultures.

Enjoy the post here:

Trust & Honesty from a Thai perspective

Sawasdee and Kop kuhn ka


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